Don't worry. The title isn't meant to describe this blog, which I hope is kept clean and reasonably hygenic. However, Anndi is under the weather with the lergy, Bee's computer has a nasty dose of something, and now Tracy is worried about hers.
I suspect that we could all do with cheering up in these times of plague and pestilence. So my musical offering this weekend comes from Tom Lehrer, and is a song that he used to perform in the 50s, but didn't record because it was considered a bit risque at the time.
There'll be a proper post in the next day or so, but in the meantime, try not catch anything (else)...
Friday, 14 November 2008
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
Word Wednesday
The Swedish Chief
I'm currently reading "The Fifth Woman", by Henning Mankell. It's a Swedish crime novel about Inspector Kurt Wallander and his team, who are trying to catch a serial killer. I don't know too much about Sweden, except that it's cold, but I always imagine everything to be clean, with pine self-assembly furniture in light, airy houses.
The Wallander books give this impression too. Everyone is very friendly (apart from the murderer and some vigilantes), the trains run on time, and the police don't attempt to rough up suspects during interrogation. Nor is there any corruption, or undue pressure from politicians, unlike in the excellent Greek "Inspector Haritos" series.
Anyway, I'm 4/5ths of the way through it, so hopefully soon they'll catch the killer and stop the carnage, and peace and tranquility can once again return to the town of Ystad. Until the next book, of course.
Film Review
Talking about Swedish things, I finally managed to watch the whole of Ingmar Bergman's film "The Passion of Anna". It's in Swedish, but luckily there were Greek subtitles on the DVD. I've attempted this several times (in fact, I think I mentioned trying to watch it once before), but always manage to fall asleep, or lose the will to live, about half way through.
The plot, such as it is, is about a reclusive chap who's wife gave up and left him some years previously. His neighbours, who live so far away that he's never met them before, are an architect with a love of photography and his wife, who spends a night with our hero. The next thing you know (or did I fall asleep and miss a bit?), he's shacked up with Anna, who was staying with his neigbours while she recovered from a road accident that killed her child and husband. Then she leaves him. The end.
There aren't many laughs in this, and there are another three DVDs in the box set. I only got it because it was on special offer in HMV. One of them is apparently full of explicit sado-masochistic sex. I'll attempt to provide reviews, if I manage to watch any of them.
Brian's Verdict: Like the characters, drink copious quantities of whisky throughout. Keep the razor blades locked away.
The Matrix on Windows
And finally. I thought this was hilarious and very well done.
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Counting
We haven't had any maths for a while, so I thought it was time. Don't worry, this one's simple and involves money, something which I'm sure is dear to all our hearts.
Supposing you had some coins. Whilst you were thinking what to spend them on you might amuse yourself by arranging them into a geometrical shape. Such as the kind of triangular arrangement that you see on a pool or snooker table:
If the coins can be arranged like this, then we say that it is a triangle number. For example, 10 coins could be arranged in a triangle because 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 is 10. But 8, 9 or 11 coins couldn't be.
Having still not decided what to buy, you could arrange them into a square:
9 coins could be arranged in a 3 x 3 square, but if you tried with 10 coins, it wouldn't work.
Now supposing that you had one coin for every year you'd been alive, and that you were able to arrange them like I did into both a triangle and a square. Then you'd be exactly the same age as Bee, since only one number is both a triangle and a square. I'm sure Bee is neither.
Supposing you had some coins. Whilst you were thinking what to spend them on you might amuse yourself by arranging them into a geometrical shape. Such as the kind of triangular arrangement that you see on a pool or snooker table:
If the coins can be arranged like this, then we say that it is a triangle number. For example, 10 coins could be arranged in a triangle because 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 is 10. But 8, 9 or 11 coins couldn't be.
Having still not decided what to buy, you could arrange them into a square:
9 coins could be arranged in a 3 x 3 square, but if you tried with 10 coins, it wouldn't work.
Now supposing that you had one coin for every year you'd been alive, and that you were able to arrange them like I did into both a triangle and a square. Then you'd be exactly the same age as Bee, since only one number is both a triangle and a square. I'm sure Bee is neither.
Happy Birthday
Saturday, 8 November 2008
Letter to Obama
Dear Mr Obama,
I am writing to congratulate you on your election success, and to give you some advice. I appreciate that you are very busy hunting for a hypo-allergenic puppy, but once you have solved this difficult and important problem, I have a couple of other ones that you might like to consider.
I also appreciate that you have loads of advisers, but I suspect that you could use some impartial advice from a non-American. After all, what you do in the coming years will influence the whole world. What's more, you don't need to pay me.
I think it's great that you're going to get your wars finished, but it's important that you give your military something to do - if they get bored they'll probably start messing around, and with all those dangerous weapons and other kit, this isn't a good idea.
The only solution is to start another war, this time against the global menace of arachnids. These creatures are everywhere, spreading terror and leaving messy webs all over the place. I'm sure that with all the billions you spend on military equipment, you can find some weapon that will be able to wipe them out.
With the army busy for the next 8 years or so, your next priority should be looking at America's contribution to the Information Age. Technology has advanced so far that society needs to catch up.
I am sorry to say that some of your citizens are not spending as much time as they need to on their blogs. Sometimes days or even weeks go by without them posting. The main problem is lack of support from their employers. Legislation is needed to ensure that every worker is provided with internet access and sufficient time to write their daily blog post, as well as to comment on at least one foriegn blog.
Finally, I'd like you to turn your attention to America's role in the global provision of food. It would make a huge difference to your country's reputation and standing if the quality of your beefburgers was higher. Changing the definition of "meat" to exclude bits steamed off carcusses would be a good first step. And while you're at it, could you do something about the fries served by American fast food establishments? Such as making them edible?
I hope that the above will give you something to keep yourself occupied with in the Oval Office, whilst the puppy is asleep, at least.
I'm sure I shouldn't need to say this, but none of the above is meant as a political statement, or a serious comment on matters such as war, starvation and blogging. It's just meant to be silly.
I am writing to congratulate you on your election success, and to give you some advice. I appreciate that you are very busy hunting for a hypo-allergenic puppy, but once you have solved this difficult and important problem, I have a couple of other ones that you might like to consider.
I also appreciate that you have loads of advisers, but I suspect that you could use some impartial advice from a non-American. After all, what you do in the coming years will influence the whole world. What's more, you don't need to pay me.
I think it's great that you're going to get your wars finished, but it's important that you give your military something to do - if they get bored they'll probably start messing around, and with all those dangerous weapons and other kit, this isn't a good idea.
The only solution is to start another war, this time against the global menace of arachnids. These creatures are everywhere, spreading terror and leaving messy webs all over the place. I'm sure that with all the billions you spend on military equipment, you can find some weapon that will be able to wipe them out.
With the army busy for the next 8 years or so, your next priority should be looking at America's contribution to the Information Age. Technology has advanced so far that society needs to catch up.
I am sorry to say that some of your citizens are not spending as much time as they need to on their blogs. Sometimes days or even weeks go by without them posting. The main problem is lack of support from their employers. Legislation is needed to ensure that every worker is provided with internet access and sufficient time to write their daily blog post, as well as to comment on at least one foriegn blog.
Finally, I'd like you to turn your attention to America's role in the global provision of food. It would make a huge difference to your country's reputation and standing if the quality of your beefburgers was higher. Changing the definition of "meat" to exclude bits steamed off carcusses would be a good first step. And while you're at it, could you do something about the fries served by American fast food establishments? Such as making them edible?
I hope that the above will give you something to keep yourself occupied with in the Oval Office, whilst the puppy is asleep, at least.
Yours Hopefully,
I'm sure I shouldn't need to say this, but none of the above is meant as a political statement, or a serious comment on matters such as war, starvation and blogging. It's just meant to be silly.
Wednesday, 5 November 2008
Wordy Wednesday: Us and the US
I'm not a great fan of Ricky Gervais, creator of "The Office", but I enjoyed reading about his appearance on the Letterman show, and his top ten stupid things that Americans say to Brits. At number three was one of Dan's favourites, "What do you mean lets go and smoke a fag?". Whilst number 9 was "Do you know the Queen?"
There's been quite a lot of coverage of America on the news recently. Apparently there was some kind of election there. On the Aimilia Hour, they showed some interviews where they asked Americans why elections were held on a Tuesday. Most of them didn't know. The reason is so that people travelling by horse and cart can spend all day Monday getting there and Wednesday getting home without missing church on Sunday, and whatever TV shows are on Thursdays. 100 million people voted yesterday. That's a lot of horses. The roads must be covered in shit.
Here we always have elections on Thursdays. No one appears to know why this is, and the practice only started in the 1930s. People in the UK tend to walk to polling stations rather than go by horse, but that doesn't usually take 3 days, so I bet that it's something really boring like being able to set up the polls and count the votes all on weekdays so they don't have to pay anyone weekend overtime rates.
One American who probably left his horse at home yesterday and went to vote in something a little more modern was Ken Imhoff, who spent 17 years building a Lamborghini in his basement, because he couldn't afford to buy one, and then had to pay someone to come with a digger and dig a hole in his house so he could get the car out. I wonder at what point during those 17 years he realised that he had a problem?
The lounge in my third floor flat is probably just about big enough to build a car in, although I suspect the landlord might have something to say about that, not to mention getting the car out, so I'm trying to think of something I could build instead. An airplane would probably be too large. Perhaps a jet pack or some kind of helicopter? I'll keep thinking, but if you have any ideas, please let me know.
There's been quite a lot of coverage of America on the news recently. Apparently there was some kind of election there. On the Aimilia Hour, they showed some interviews where they asked Americans why elections were held on a Tuesday. Most of them didn't know. The reason is so that people travelling by horse and cart can spend all day Monday getting there and Wednesday getting home without missing church on Sunday, and whatever TV shows are on Thursdays. 100 million people voted yesterday. That's a lot of horses. The roads must be covered in shit.
Here we always have elections on Thursdays. No one appears to know why this is, and the practice only started in the 1930s. People in the UK tend to walk to polling stations rather than go by horse, but that doesn't usually take 3 days, so I bet that it's something really boring like being able to set up the polls and count the votes all on weekdays so they don't have to pay anyone weekend overtime rates.
One American who probably left his horse at home yesterday and went to vote in something a little more modern was Ken Imhoff, who spent 17 years building a Lamborghini in his basement, because he couldn't afford to buy one, and then had to pay someone to come with a digger and dig a hole in his house so he could get the car out. I wonder at what point during those 17 years he realised that he had a problem?
The lounge in my third floor flat is probably just about big enough to build a car in, although I suspect the landlord might have something to say about that, not to mention getting the car out, so I'm trying to think of something I could build instead. An airplane would probably be too large. Perhaps a jet pack or some kind of helicopter? I'll keep thinking, but if you have any ideas, please let me know.
Saturday, 1 November 2008
Tauberlied
Last weekend you were treated to some music that was supposed to expemplify naffness, but I was surprised by how many of you admitted to liking the Smurfs. Oh well. This weekend, slightly later than planned due to a last-minute change in my arrangements with Helena, I'm going to move to the opposite extreme.
For me at least. I suspect that most of you will prefer the Smurfs, in which case please feel free to read and play last week's post again, just as long as you leave a totally irrelevant comment on this one.
Richard Tauber was born in Austria in 1891. He was the illegitimate son of an actor and actress, and he became one of the most famous tenors of all time. He sang in operas as well as in the lighter Viennese Operettas. Franz Lehar, who is famous for composing the Merry Widow, ended up writing a string of successful operettas featuring Tauber as the main romantic lead.
I was born 22 years after he died, and I find it strange to imagine him as a romantic lead. I expect you had to be there. He was overweight, limped, wore a monacle and apparently wasn't much of an actor. Nevertheless, he charmed both opera and operetta audiences, as well as starring in films.
The reason that he limped (and possibly the reason for his bulk) was because he was struck down in his 20s with crippling arthritis. Doctors said that his singing career was over, but he ignored them and carried on anyway. He was in constant pain for the rest of his life.
If this wasn't bad enough, he was forced to flee Germany (where he was working) in 1933 after being roughed up by some Nazis (he was Jewish). Once Austria was taken over in 1938 his citizenship was revoked, making him stateless. He ended up getting British nationality, where he lived until he died of lung cancer in 1948, at the age of 56.
He generally performed for a flat fee rather than royalties, and was apparently very generous with his money (when he had it), throwing parties for his friends and buying extravagant gifts for women (he particularly liked redheads). He was always on the road performing, never owned a house, and died in poverty.
Richard Tauber was not a great singer considering all he suffered in his life, he was one of the greatest full stop. I'm not a great fan of Viennese operetta, or sentimental 20's and 30's love songs, but I'd listen to him singing "ten green bottles" or Garage Rap, if necessary.
Fortunately he left behind a large number of recordings, and even more fortunately none of them were of "Ten Green Bottles", or Garage Rap. He was a lyric tenor, which means that he was very good singing Mozart and German lieder, which require a lighter voice than Pavarotti or Caruso.
Here is my all-time favourite recording, made in 1939, of "Il mio tesoro", from Mozart's Don Giovanni, which comes out very well in this YouTube video, even if the pictures of someone's hi-fi system aren't hugely exciting.
For me at least. I suspect that most of you will prefer the Smurfs, in which case please feel free to read and play last week's post again, just as long as you leave a totally irrelevant comment on this one.
Richard Tauber was born in Austria in 1891. He was the illegitimate son of an actor and actress, and he became one of the most famous tenors of all time. He sang in operas as well as in the lighter Viennese Operettas. Franz Lehar, who is famous for composing the Merry Widow, ended up writing a string of successful operettas featuring Tauber as the main romantic lead.
I was born 22 years after he died, and I find it strange to imagine him as a romantic lead. I expect you had to be there. He was overweight, limped, wore a monacle and apparently wasn't much of an actor. Nevertheless, he charmed both opera and operetta audiences, as well as starring in films.
The reason that he limped (and possibly the reason for his bulk) was because he was struck down in his 20s with crippling arthritis. Doctors said that his singing career was over, but he ignored them and carried on anyway. He was in constant pain for the rest of his life.
If this wasn't bad enough, he was forced to flee Germany (where he was working) in 1933 after being roughed up by some Nazis (he was Jewish). Once Austria was taken over in 1938 his citizenship was revoked, making him stateless. He ended up getting British nationality, where he lived until he died of lung cancer in 1948, at the age of 56.
He generally performed for a flat fee rather than royalties, and was apparently very generous with his money (when he had it), throwing parties for his friends and buying extravagant gifts for women (he particularly liked redheads). He was always on the road performing, never owned a house, and died in poverty.
Richard Tauber was not a great singer considering all he suffered in his life, he was one of the greatest full stop. I'm not a great fan of Viennese operetta, or sentimental 20's and 30's love songs, but I'd listen to him singing "ten green bottles" or Garage Rap, if necessary.
Fortunately he left behind a large number of recordings, and even more fortunately none of them were of "Ten Green Bottles", or Garage Rap. He was a lyric tenor, which means that he was very good singing Mozart and German lieder, which require a lighter voice than Pavarotti or Caruso.
Here is my all-time favourite recording, made in 1939, of "Il mio tesoro", from Mozart's Don Giovanni, which comes out very well in this YouTube video, even if the pictures of someone's hi-fi system aren't hugely exciting.
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