Sunday, 24 August 2008

This Week's Special Deal!

As you know, all my posts are original, and I never steal, erm, I mean I'm never influenced by other blogger's ideas. So of course it's entirely coincidental that this post comes after a similar one by Chris Wood.


This revolutionary new product will change blogger's lives forever.

Our specially designed software takes the drudgery out of commenting. Simply install

on your computer, and it generates and posts witty and apt comments on your fellow-blogger's sites.

No more tedious reading of other people's posts.

No more hunting through dictionaries, quotation books and the thesaurus.

The last word in hilarious and erudite remarks.


A spin-off from the
SPACE PROGRAMME, we have fitted ROOM FULLS of technology onto one CD.

This is the same technology that teachers use to write your child's school report.


Here is just one example:

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up! You've made my day. Cxtrw%$^&*( shows a great deal of promise, and should do well in this year's exam. LOL

Version 2 will be EVEN BETTER!


Jean Knee said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!

I really mean that

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Your comments are always so original, witty, and erudite. I don't know how you do it...

Jean Knee said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!

I really mean that.

Bee said...

LOL! That was hilarious! You always crack me up!

I second that emotion!

Bee said...

I'll take 3 please! or can I buy one and just install them on all my computers?

Brian o vretanos said...


No, you'll have to pay for three - this is my retirement plan, after all...

Dan said...

I'll take one of those, I need one because Tracy is a big cry cry.

Bee said...

Ooh! Dan, Tracy is gonna kick your ass! And I'll hold you down while she does it!

for a different kind of girl said...

ROTFLMAO! I can haz, two?

I will "borrow" Bee's software and attempt to install it on my laptop

Brian o vretanos said...


I wouldn't have put it quite like that...


The program is protected with CopieRite (TM) technology. If you try to install a bootleg copy it, your computer will play Barry Manilow songs endlessly and can't be turned off or muted. If you can put up with that then you're welcome to use the software illegally.

catscratch said...

I have no use for that prodcuct. If not for reading blogs, I'd have absolutely nothing to do at work.

Brian o vretanos said...


I hadn't thought of that! Perhaps I should have done more thorough market research...

Chris Wood said...

Good call! I could do with something similar for answering machines and calls I'm ducking.

Chris Wood said...

BTW I love that picture of the room full of 1950s computers and serious minded people. & Cheers!

Jean Knee said...

when I think of all the time I wasted writing:
I have enjoyed having Cxtrw%$^&*( in my class this year, He/she/it will make a great first grader!
Mrs. Knee

if only I'd had your program then my hand would not be horribly disfigured from all that horrible redundancy.

Brian o vretanos said...



Jean Knee:

There was some fuss here a few years ago when it was discovered that teachers were using such a program.

real-life report writer

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:


Jean Knee said...

Here's our old way of doing it:

You had a copy of the report card listing skills students need to know. Test the skills while simutaneously checking them on the report.

The new way which was supposed to save you time:

Print report card. Test skills and mark off on report card copy. Enter all data into computer. Print out a new copy.

added hours of busy work to your schedule--ingenious

Brian o vretanos said...

Brilliant - modernisation (i.e. computerisation) combined with getting teachers to do more work for the same money, i.e, better value for money.

This can only have been dreampt up by accountants...

Tracy said...

Oh, see! Now I understand! I saw the same comment from Jean Knee on my blog and I thought to myself "I don't really even think that this post was funny but whatever floats her boat is good for me!"
Then I went to Bee's and I saw that Jean Knee had left the exact same comment there too.
That's when I started to think something was fishy (and it wasn't just the frozen goldfish in her freezer) but now I understand.

And not to offend you Brian dear, because you are hilarious and you always do crack me up, but the comment section is where I unlock my brain and let all of it just spill out into words on some poor buggers (did you like that term) blog for them to read it and say "WTF??"
So, I think I will stick with my own comments, thank you.

Tracy said...

DANIEL!!! I just read that comment, you know the one where you called me a cry cry again??

Brian o vretanos said...


That's okay, I like your comments just as they are.