Sunday, 15 March 2009

Dream Marriages

We all have dreams. I don't mean the ones you experience whilst asleep, as they can be horrible, or in my case just plain uninteresting. Last night I dreamt that someone was knocking on the front door. I woke up and went to see, but whoever it was had gone, or not been there. This is probably the most exciting dream I've had for several weeks.

No, I'm thinking more about fantasy. We all have dreams of being rich, or famous, or powerful, or completing a Greek crossword. And I'm sure that even the most unimaginitive people find their imaginations taking them to all sorts of places when it comes to members of the opposite sex (and/or the same, if that's your thing).

It seems that lots of women have fantasy husbands. For example, Bee has gone for Brad Pitt, whilst Tracy is more of a Johnny Depp girl. I'm not quite sure why anyone fantasizes about being married to an actor - they make a living out of being other people, their marriages rarely last, and they're hardly ever seen as they really are without all that war paint:

Heavy night last night, Johnny? Mr Depp on his way to Makeup first thing in the morning.

Actress Myrna Loy was known as the "Perfect Wife", a kind of role that she played many times in films. In the real world things were very different. As she said: "Some perfect wife I am. I've been married four times, divorced four times, have no children, and can't boil an egg." Though with someone like her to wake up next to, I'm sure most men would have happily done without omelettes.

The Perfect Wife

Incidentally, fantasizing about stars isn't always as harmless as it sounds. Chicago Gangster John Dillinger was a huge fan of Myrna Loy, to the extent that despite being on the run from the authorites in 1934 he risked going to see her latest film ("Manhattan Melodrama"). The FBI shot him dead as he left the cinema.

Another option for fantasy husband appears to be a failed politician. Presumably they've failed because they weren't as good at lying and backstabbing as their more successful colleagues. Several bloggers, including Jean Knee, are taking fantasy turns being married to Al Gore. This kind of fantasy husband recycling is particularly popular with the environmentally aware.

Personally, I have difficult imagining being one half of a fantasy marriage. You probably need to have experienced a good marriage to be able to fantasize about them. I'm also hopelessly uninformed about celebrity lifestyle issues, so I'm not sure what being married to a famous filmstar or TV journalist would actually involve.

For a woman, the first part of any dream marriage is probably the fairytale wedding, and one recent bizarre idea is to go to Verona and get married on the balcony where Juliet stood whilst being wooed by Romeo. How romantic. Of course shortly after this they both killed themselves. Apparently there are a lot of American tourists who don't let this worry them. People who decided to splash out and go to Europe to get married instead of Vegas, perhaps.

Someone's idea of a dream wedding

Anyway, I suspect that dream marriages and weddings are for women. And people with extra large thumbs, judging from the picture above...


Bee said...


Jean Knee said...


Jean Knee said...


Bee said...

ha ha my mom just asked that jean knee because I'm watching star wars

Bee said...

Those are some really big thumbs.

Bee said...

I don't want to marry Brad Pitt I just want him on loan for a week or so minus the kids.

Dan said...

That Romeo and Juliet story was four realz?

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

I never snore. At least I never hear myself snoring...


That's very fair - it gives 51 women a chance too, I suppose.


No, Romeo and Juliet is not a true story, but there are a lot of gullible American tourists around ;-)

No Cool Story said...

Oh no you didn't just called Father Al Gore (Father of Earth!) a "failed politician"!!

How dare you sir.

No Cool Story said...

"...their marriages rarely last"

I second Bee, see, we don't really care about the lasting thing and all that. Nay.

And that's all I am going to say about that.

Brian o vretanos said...


Oh dear, before I'm condemned to spend the afterlife in the environmentally unfriendly fires of Hell (rather than the paradise of elysian fields covered with wind-turbines), I should stress that I meant it as a compliment.

Tracys Ramblings said...

Brian Dear,
I think it's unfair of you to use that picture of my Johnny. He was playing the murderous barber of Fleet Street, also known as Sweeny Todd, afterall.
And one thing you're failing to realize is that in fantasy marriages, the actors/muscians/failed politicians are perfect. Oh, and they never really go to work. They just spend their days pampering their fantasy wives (me).
You're right, you are very bad at the fantasy marriages.

Chris Wood said...

I rarely remember my dreams, unless they're especially good or bad.

Dream wife? Dunno. Bar Rafaeli (sic?) would be a good start, though.

Rhonda said...


There is no such thing as a dream marriage, because no one could live up to the title.

However, I would let George Clooney try his best.

Brian o vretanos said...


I thought it was kinder than using a photo of him posing in an apron ;-)


I had to look up who she was, but yes, she's not bad at all. However, she was born in 1985. Which seems far to recent. I think I'm getting old...


I suppose the problem with dreams is that you always wake up in the end ;-)