Saturday, 7 March 2009

Weekend Drinking Guide

I've never really played many drinking games. Most of the people I've found myself socialising with are far too serious about drinking. And what's the point of games where the winner drinks less? When I was at college in Lancaster, one of the other would-be maths teachers liked to play "Cardinal Puff". This involved performing a series of actions and words, and you had to down your drink if you made a single mistake. I don't remember anyone actually managing to get through the whole thing - after all, trying to recite something about Cardinal Puff whilst moving your arms and legs in a coordinated fashion isn't easy - I find it difficult enough to coordinate any two of my limbs when I'm sober.


The other day I was reading about the alcohol gun. This apparently fires shots of 1 oz (a weird American fluid measure equivalent to one twentieth of an extra large latte). At first sight, this appears to be a waste of a good drink, but I'm guessing that the sort of people who would think this was a fun way to spend PDT (Prime Drinking Time) are the sorts of idiots you get in American bars who make a show of downing shots that are less alcoholic than mineral water. After all, how stupid do these people look? If I was going to turn up to an alcohol gun party I'd bring something more like this:

Or ideally, this, except that I never drink and drive:

This year's Beer Festival was a little rowdy

And I'm sure that whoever makes this product (if it really exists) aren't the first people to come up with the idea of putting something other than water in a water pistol. Though there are better (and less pleasant) things to use than good drink.

Safety Warning
(as required by relevant European Legislation)

As you know, I'm very concerned about the health and welfare of my readers, and I would like to stress that this blog promotes sensible drinking. While alcohol guns are likely to result in less of the harmful alcohol actually being consumed, we must point out that in the hands of a trained marksman this might not be the case. The size of the target area (your mouth) is also an important factor. In addition, health experts recommend that you combine alcohol with food consumption.




Have a good weekend!

18 comments:

Jean Knee said...

FIRST!!!!

who luvs ya baby?

Jean Knee said...

umm, yeah I knew somewho who put a warm and yellow tinted substance into a watergun and shot people in the crotch to make it seenm as if they went.

no it wasn't me

Bee said...

I agree, those are a big waste of time. The best drinking game ever is one called Asshole but the second is the beer bong.

Of course, for newbies it sucks because they wind up wearing the beer as opposed to drinking it. Such a waste...

Chris Wood said...

Drinking games ... oh, I remember those. Ugh. Hangovers - them too.

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee/Kojak:

I suppose laxitive cakes are more your style... Who was it, then?

Bee:

We have the yard of ale, which is much more stylish and traditional, though I've only ever seen them in films.

Chris:

Yes, life as a young drunk, er, I mean student, was hell...

Jean Knee said...

some guy in college

if I'd have thought of it before him I'd prolly have done it

Jean Knee said...

and..............I have successfully kicked my hot chocolate habit

yesssssss

Tracys Ramblings said...

Goodness, things have changed since my drinking days!
Back in the days of my drinking, we just poured our drinks of choice into our mouths from a cup. It seems to me that squirting it into your mouth would take a lot of work.
I would like you to research a game called "Beer Pong". I heard of this the other day at the local gas station. I don't know how you play it but it involves ping pong balls, convieniently sold at this particular gas station.
Get on that please, could you?

No Cool Story said...

First: How are you first on so many blogs?

Second: Great, now there will be drive-by-driking-shootings.

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Congratulations on the addiction thing. Did you go to one of those chocolate drying out clinics? And does this mean you're back on the coffee??

Tracy:

You're right it all does seem too much like hard work, especially beer pong, whatever that is.

NCS:

First: I get up earlier than you. The timezones help, though the difference is an hour less for the next few weeks. It's a source of continual frustration to me that I'm never first on your blog...

Second: If I were you I'd walk around with my mouth open just in case.

Dan said...

That first picture looks really gay.

Rhonda said...

I want a drinking gun ... much less conspicuous than taking shots at work.

Jean Knee said...

I now drink hot decaf tea with artificial sweetner

Brian o vretanos said...

Dan:

I agree.

Rhonda:

Yes, perhaps that's how they should market it...

Jean Knee:

I suppose if you hold your nose and drink it really quickly you scarcely notice the taste.

No Cool Story said...

Did you know Dan just posted about not being able to drink and here you had a post about drinking?
WOW!! Isn't that crazy?

Also, I notice you haven't been first on Bee's blog. Are you ok? Everything good over there? Can you talk? Type?

Brian o vretanos said...

NCS:

What a spooky coincidence. It's almost uncanny.

I'm fine, but everyone decided to post when I was asleep. It's your fault for putting your clocks forward a month before us...

Bee said...

ummmmm it's Wednesday. Just sayin'.

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

Just postin'

If you hurry you'll be there first...