Saturday, 14 June 2008

Unspeakable

I regularly browse a Greek news site called e-go.gr. They're a bit of a down-market operation, so they have lots of interesting stories, like the one about the Japanese house-hider, and so on, which make great blog material.

They also love any story that lets them put up pictures of naked women, which is probably the only reason that anyone in Greece is likely to know who PETA are. I don't think those women are a good advert for vegeterianism, though. They look rather emaciated. Then again, you're not going to thrive on a diet of chillis...

Anyway, I was reading the other day about a special Japanese Vase. The idea is that when you're so angry that you need to let off some steam, but you're worried about offending people, you shout into it as much as you want, but the vase stops the sound so no-one can hear you.


What he is actually screaming is "This vase is stuck! Help! Someone, please!". Still, any new invention is bound to have some flaws...

We have to bear in mind that Japan is incredibly crowded - after all, people live in other people's cupboards, so this invention is probably very useful.

It wouldn't be so popular in Britain, where people don't say what they think anyway.

A little while ago, at the supermarket, I'd broken my normal rule (See: Why I Prefer Older Women) of only going to checkouts where the operators aren't under the age of 21. The girl asked me, as they all have to these days, if I needed any help packing. Like everyone, I said "no, I'm okay, thanks.", but what I thought was "What makes you think you can pack shopping as well as me? I've got a lot more experience than you."

On the way home, I did the sums and realised that, assuming she was under 21, I'd been a customer at that particular shop since before she was born. Which makes me feel old. Even though I'm not, of course. Are there vases that will make thoughts like that go quiet, I wonder?

13 comments:

Tracy said...

First!!!!

Tracy said...

I wonder if I could get three of those vases and just tape them to my kids faces? That would surely cut down on all the noise in my house. I kind of like that idea.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

I hadn't thought of that, what an excellent idea ;-)

At $48 each, that seems like good value...

Bee said...

I NEED ONE!! Well, maybe like 100 of them because sooner or later they'll wind up shattered after I throw them on the wall or they explode form all the obscenities.

I had a feeling like yours the other day.

Natalia:
Tia Bee can you sit on the floor and help me fish?

II don't like sitting on the floor but I didn't want to say that so...)

Bee:
No, honey. My bones are too old.

Natalia:
How many years have your bones been alive?

Bee:
35.

Natalia:
Wow! That's allot. That's 30 more than me. Are you bones black because they're so old??

Bee:
Thanks kid.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

I should be getting commission for this post ;-)

Don't throw them too hard - you don't want to damage your aging bones...

Tracy said...

Brian- Honestly, there are times when I would pay a million dollars a piece for just a little bit of peace and quiet! They are certainly worth the $48. When I buy mine, I'll make sure to mention your name. Maybe you'll get a little commision.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

Thanks. You could always buy noise-cancellation headphones instead, though they're probably a lot more expensive.

Bee said...

HEY! Happy Father's day!!!
Well, it's father's day here. Is it father's day there too??

Dan said...

Why not use duck tape?

Jean Knee said...

we have that same type thing here, it's called the Jerry Springer Show. People scream about all sorts of lewd and ridiculous nonsense.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Welcome Back!

Yes, there are programmes like that here. Unfortunately they don't let ordinary people like us on them.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

That's not as artistic, though, is it? And they couldn't make $48 a time selling tape.

Dan said...

I'm all for the art.