Monday, 30 June 2008

Skeleton Keys

I was reading about the man who got a teapot made out of his father's ashes. Now every time he has a cup of tea, his father will be there. Until he drops the teapot, of course.

This kind of thing is getting increasingly popular - you can have your loved one's ashes turned into diamonds, or whatever.

What I don't understand is this: If you want to use their remains to make something, why bother to turn them into ashes first?

Putting the remains of a cremated person into the grinder.
Along with some cigarette ash too, by the looks of things...

Wouldn't it be less destructive and more personal if his father hadn't been cremated? He could have had a teapot made out of his skull, and perhaps a set of cutlery out of his bones.

This is all much more environmentally friendly than burning people, and uses up less space than burying. No, in the future recycling will be the thing to do. This is very much in keeping with religious traditions as well - after all, the bones of saints are often revered.

It's also sort of in keeping with much older traditions, where people carved things out of bone.

I've given it some thought, and I'm considering suggesting that my bones get used to make the keys on a grand piano. There are two reasons for this: Firstly, it's probably the only way I'm going to get a decent tune out of a piano, and secondly, it'd be nice after a fairly selfish and uneventful life to be able to play a part in making people happy.


What about you?

18 comments:

Queen Goob said...

If you ask my spawn, they'd probably say "glue" because on occasion I can be a horse’s ass. If you as me? I'd like my remains to be made into that table Bee was interested in, a topic of more conversation that I’ve ever been involved in during this lifetime!

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102174152

Number 1!!!

Bee said...

I would want my ashes to be added into paint and then some awesome person could paint a portrait of me making funny faces. Yeah, I like that idea!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Queen Goob:

I suppose that's not a bad idea - they could rearrange your body to turn you into the Sumo guy - maybe inflate you or something - skin is very flexible.

Bee:

Then no-one could say "she's no oil painting" ;-)

Sully Sullivan said...

I think it is creepy all around, but that's just me. I'm sure it's a pretty popular thing as most people like to be reminded of their loved ones.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Sully,

The last hundred years or so have been a bit unusual in Western culture in terms of how we think of death. People were a lot more comfortable with it when medical science hadn't found cures for so many (potentially) fatal illnesses. Things go in cycles, so you might expect that we're about to enter a time when people are less squeamish. Especially if they've watched enough CSI epsiodes...

Jean Knee said...

Brian told me he wears women's underwear because they are more comfortable.

Jean Knee said...

I kinda like that bone church they have in Prague- or somewhere in Czech

Jean Knee said...

gosh where's Brian disappeared off to?

Dan said...

I have donated my body to "Body Worlds" do a search.
I don't know how to do a link.
How should I pose ?

Dan said...

http://www.mpm.edu/bodyworlds/

Jean Knee said...

Oh my gawwsh Dan. I saw that exhibit in Dallas. I dreamed about it even. It really freaked me out.

Jean Knee said...

that video wasn't even close to how it really was. have you seen it? anyone?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

They should do you looking in a mirror, with all your blood vessels showing and a sign "So Vein" ;-)

Jean Knee:

You mean this:

Bone Church... interesting.

Tracy said...

As I've mentioned before, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole death thing so I've decided not to die until I know how I do feel about it.
See, I wouldn't mind cremation if it weren't for all the being burned and then having some guy shove me through a garbage disposal so that my chunky bits aren't so chunky.
Then there's burial where they stick me in the ground in my Sunday bests and just let me fall to pieces. (I once heard that your fingernails and your hair still grow, is that true?)
But maybe if I could have my bones made into some huge pieces of gawdy jewelry that would be the way for me to go. I love gawdy jewelry.

Tracy said...

I just had a funny thought.
I could see my great great great grandchildren taking a piece of my bone gawdy jewelry on the antiques roadshow and saying "This is my great great great grandmother with some rubies stuck in. How much is she worth?"

Jean Knee said...

Tracy, that is just so sweet. I think you're more of an emerald with a spray of diamonds type gaudy jewelry.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

Jewellery sounds great. Apparently your fingernails and hair don't grow, it's just that your skin shrivels or recedes or something. Sort of the opposite of a receding hairline...

He-Man Woman Haters club said...

Yo Brian, you better get your candy assed self in some tighty whities asap or you'll be excommunicated from the club