As you know, this blog tries to bring you the very latest news about man's great progress onwards and upwards. Today, we look at a breakthrough of medical science.
Frustrated by the lack of progress on the great clean up of the planet, which should be getting rid of such menaces as arachnoids (or at least genetically engineering them to look less offensive - perhaps they could cross breed them with butterflies or ants), the medical boffins have decided to use another approach to tackle the problem, and have brought out a pill that cures phobias.
For people who's fears stop them functioning normal, I'm sure that this wil be a great help (unless they're suffering from Hapiphobia - fear of pills), though of course the pill works by messing with chemicals in your brain, which will probably have all sorts of side effects.
It has also been suggested that this could be used to make soldiers braver. Just think, if they'd had it during World War I, they could have made even more 18 year olds go "over the top" to their deaths. Brilliant. Actually, it may not have made much difference because they shot the ones that were scared or traumatised, but a pill would have been so much more scientific.
As you know, I'm not hugely keen on spiders, and this fear has led to the premature deaths of a handful of the buggers who have been rash enough to come into view in my flat. I don't think that I want to start taking mind changing pills for that.
Unfortunately a pill won't stop people coming up with ever more unlikely and silly "phobias", by gluing a few Greek words together, and preferably getting quoted in a psychiatric journal. A few of these appear at the end of the cited article.
I'd like to propose another (in additon to "hapiphobia" which I made up). It involves the very real fear of having to face a ticking clock, having to rack your brains, and finally to have to spew part of them out in front of the world in all their feebleness, before that clock ticks too far. I give you Tetartophobia, from the Greek for Wednesday...