Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Wordy Wednesday - Holiday Special

The Calm Before the Storm

It's sunny here. I gather that some of you have had less than brilliant weather recently, and as I look out at the bright sunlit blue skies, I feel your pain.

Or rather, I will in a day or two. Good Friday and the following Monday are bank holidays in the UK, and the weather is bound to be limbering up to chuck it down for the whole four days, causing widespread misery to all those stupid or unfortunate enough to be sitting in Bank Holiday traffic jams.

For those who aren't so keen to spend 2 days getting to Morecambe and back, and (worse still) spending 2 days there in between, here are some other possibilities.

"Wish You Were Here...
... instead of me"



Build a New House

Actually, in 4 days you could build around twenty five houses, but I suppose if you want a garden, and time to go out and get furniture, one's probably okay.

Advantages: A Constructive use of your time

Disadvantages: Not exactly a relaxing holiday.



Visit The Moon

You'd spend the whole Bank Holiday getting there, so you'd need to take an extra 3 days leave. The Moon doesn't have any tacky shops selling "Kiss Me Quick" hats or sex aids. In fact, it's very similar to Morecambe in the winter.

Advantages: No traffic jams, Secluded location. Impressive holiday snaps to bore the neighbours with.

Disadvantages: Somewhat lacking in atmosphere.




Seek out New Worlds, New Civilisations

4 days is only 5 minutes less time than would be required to watch the entire original series of Star Trek, the six original films and the first year's "Next Generation". I've got a feeling that Dan's already done this.

Advantages: A trip through cult history, not to mention plenty of 60's miniskirt clad women. Earn the respect of the IT helpdesk staff. Though when you call with a problem they'll still ask if you've tried rebooting it.

Disadvantages: Having to lie when people ask you what you did for your holiday. "Well... nothing special. Just went to Morecambe for a couple of days."

Better than anything you'll see
on the beach at Morecambe



Having carefully considered all of the alternatives, I think I'll stay at home and gloat to Americans about having two days off work.

12 comments:

Anndi said...

We too have Friday and Monday off :)

Another disadvantage to going to the moon are the zero-gravity lavatories... what if they have a technical glitch? Would that be like Morecambe?

Bee said...

Gloat all you want but that means you'll have no excuse for NOT posting the weekend AND Monday.

Brian o vretanos said...

Anndi:

Not being religious, Easter's one of my favourite holidays. I love the 4 days off.

That's a good point about the zero-gravity stuff. I expect it also makes it difficult to drink beer (what do the bubbles do?). At least they have some gravity once you get to the moon.

They don't have any technology in Morecambe to go wrong, unless anything's changed drastically in the 15 years since I was there.

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

I think my posting rate usually goes up during holiday periods, so I should be okay.

Jean Knee said...

Somewhat lacking in atmosphere.

bwwahhha ha ha

for a different kind of girl said...

So they can build a house in under four hours, but I bet the cable company still missed their five-hour window of time to show up and hook up the cable and internet.

Bee (the one who muses) said...

Also, my mom's floor is taking way more than 4 days, Brian.

Dan said...

I pass on the Star Trek!
And I will be off on Friday and Monday too!!!!!
I used a vacation day for Monday since I've been at the job almost a whole year now and finally qualify for vacation, I get three weeks after one year how sweet is that?

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

I'm glad someone appreciates my puns ;-)

FADKOG:

Compared to throwing up a house connecting a piece of cable is obviously a complex business that just can't be rushed ;-)

Bee (towm):

Yes, it's a pity that you can't find someone to sponsor a huge team of people like they did with that house.

Dan:

That's excellent news about your holiday. Now we can both gloat at Bee.

Chris Wood said...

Morecambe? Uggghh.

Kat said...

Happy Easter. Enjoy the bank holiday weekend.

No Cool Story said...

I agree with jean Knee.
Silly moon and its lack in atmosphere.