Wednesday, 10 June 2009

Wordy Wednesday

Climate Change


I think it's autumn. We did summer last week, and it's now gone cold and wet. There's a thunderstorm happening as I write. This rather miserable climate change is probably all the fault of those ecologist types. We obviously aren't burning enough carbon. At least not here. In Greece and Cyprus the forest fire season has started, sadly.

Hopefully we'll get round to spring soon, then maybe we can look forward to another bout of summer before winter comes.


Magic Pills


It's now more than ten years since the famous blue pill came on the market, and I'm a little surprised that the manufacturers haven't by now created a whole range of similar products. So I've come up with some ideas which I hope I can sell to them for a tidy sum.

Up-Agra (Purple): When you take this pill, the chemicals remain dormant until triggered by the brain's reaction to a loud noise, such as an alarm clock. At which point your leg and arm muscles spring into action and you leap out of bed.

Oral-Agra (White): This prevents your mouth from getting into gear before your brain does.

Peace-Agra (Red): Contains appropriate pheremone thingies which ooze from your pores and have a repellant effect. Useful when you want time to concentrate in the office.

Nasal-Agra (Brown): This is similar to the traditional blue version, except that it expands the blood vessels in the nose, leading to a reduced sense of smell. Useful for those with windy children.

Hand-Agra (Orange): The ultimate cure for bloggile dysfunction, this makes your fingers type any old rubbish without any help from your brain. Particularly useful on a Wednesday, I find...

8 comments:

BEE said...

FIRST, JEAN KNEE!

Bee said...

So I love those *agras* and especially the nasal one since I do work in a very hazardous environment thanks to the LoPF (Ladies of Perpetual Flatulence).

I told Andy that I predicted an ice age as opposed to a uh warming age? The summers here and Chi-town haven't been as bad as I remember from when I first moved here.

for a different kind of girl said...

It would appear all the fluctuations in the climate have really confused that woman, what with her wearing a swimsuit in what looks like very cold temperatures. There should really be a pill for that!

Jean Knee said...

dang, I didn't realize it was Wed

Jean Knee said...

I'll take a couple of those agras myself


it's hot and boiling here if it changes before Oct I'll let you know

Brian o vretanos said...

You might be right. The climatologists claim that an ice age is expected any day now. Give or take a few million years.

It's not an exact science.

FADKOG:

Maybe she's doing it on medical advice, to stimulate the blood flow. Or maybe it's just fake snow.

Jean Knee:

I'm sorry about your weather. Try not to think of all that snowbathing you're missing.

Chris Wood said...

I think I've taken plenty of the orange ones ...

Dan said...

What would happen if you take one of each of all the ...Agra pills at the same time?