Friday, 10 July 2009

The Menu

The other day a menu came through the post for a Chinese takeaway in town. There are several others which are much nearer to where I live, so I'm not likely to go there, but I was intrigued by the following:


I'm not trying to mock whoever wrote it - I'm sure their English is far better than my Chinese, and indeed their Chinese may be better than my English - but I'm at a loss to work out what they mean. I don't know about ducks and king prawns, but I'm sure that fish aren't vegetarians but piscivores. If there's such a word.

And why didn't they just make the Chicken one £4.80 as well?

On the back of the menu there is a horoscope, full of useful advice. For example, anyone born in 1962, 1974 or 1986 is best suited to being a boss, explorer, racing car driver or a matador. I was born in 1970, on the second day of the Chinese year, so I ought to become a businessman, activist, teacher or secret agent. I did come close to being a teacher, so maybe there's something in this after all.

If you're eating out this weekend the I hope you have a good time, but don't forget to ask whether they do vegetarian duck...

11 comments:

Jean Knee said...

FIRST!!!

Jean Knee said...

I'm 1965, what does it say about me???


I hope it's not too late

Brian o vretanos said...

You're a snake

"Women born under Snake are often beautiful".

It also says you're vain. And that you should be a teacher, philosopher, writer, psychiatrist and fortune teller.

It also says you should seek medical attention ;-) I hope you're feeling better...

Jean Knee said...

Although it is true I am very beautiful, I've never been vain :)

fortune teller seems interesting.

Bee said...

Well, I'm 1972 and I already know I'm a rat.

Technically ducks are vegetarian since they don't eat hamburgers.

Now I want Chinese food.

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

You were a fortune teller before, remember? I think you should try philosopher next.

Bee:

"Attractive to members of the opposite sex. Easily angered."

You might be right about ducks - I've never seen one with it's beak around a big mac...

Bee said...

I normally don't take fortunes and predictions too seriously but in my case, they are obviously right!

for a different kind of girl said...

The chicken always has been a bit of a cheap barnyard tart.

Also, I'm going to start referring to all our fast food as takeaway. It'll hopefully make those horrid cold burgers sound so much better than they rightly are.

Chris Wood said...

Veggie bacon sandwiches are my favourite ...

Rhonda said...

I'm 1970 too ... I so want to be a secret agent. Where do I apply?

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

I'm sure they're at least 50% correct ;-)

FADKOG:

That's not a bad idea.

Chris:

Veggie bacon is arguably one of the better meat substitutes.

Rhonda:

I don't think you apply - they ask you...