I happened to mention to Helena that female Elephants are called "cows", and male elephants "bulls". Being a great fan of the bovine variety of cow (both alive and on her dinner plate), she took exception to this, and immediately demanded to know who was responsible for allowing elephants to take on the names of cows and bulls.
I suggested that it was probably a zoologist, but she asked me whether I'd informed the Prime Minister of this terrible injustice. When I confessed that I had omitted to do this she suggested I either write a letter to Mr Brown, or to the US President. I said that they probably had more pressing matters on their minds. She wasn't having any of this and wrote the following letter on my behalf to the "Planetarch", as the Greeks call the American leader:
Dear Baraca Barman,
Elephants have their own name and they don't have the right to steal cows and bulls' names. Why can't elephants be elephants, cows be cows and bulls be bulls?
You will probably want to take this to court and please inform the Queen so that she can help you do something about it.
Thankyou,
Brian o vretanos.
I've made no attempt to correct or edit this, apart from giving Her Majesty a capital Q. She even got all of the apostrophes in the correct places.
[l-r: US President, British Queen,US First Lady, Shifty-looking Greek]
I think you'll agree that this is a wonderfully eloquent letter for an eleven year old. I think she's got a great future ahead of her as a blogger or a twitterer, or something...
6 comments:
FIRST!!!!
that's a hell of a lot better than I would have done.
Planetarch is too good
She right! I agree 100% tell her to start a petition to give the elefants a diffrent name, I'll sign it! She kan spell way beter then me.
That's a nice piece of meat!
Let me know if he responds because agree with her.
Jean Knee:
They even used that title when Dubya was in power...
Dan:
Eye ill letter no ;-)
Bee:
That steak picture made me very hungry.
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