I hope you all appreciate the sacrifies I make to bring you this blog. Don't worry, I don't mean sacrifices in the ritual sense - no virgins were harmed in the making of this post. At least, not that I know of.
However, the working conditions are somewhat less than ideal. In particular, the temperature is rather oppressive. We've had a hot week, but today is vary warm. No snowbathing photos today.
Working temperatures are goverened in this country by some ancient factory law, which gives a minimum temperature that workers are allowed to endure. If it gets any colder they can go home. It doesn't, however, give any maximum. After all, this is Britain, where things are cold and grim.
I've taken legal advice, and I've been told that I can't get out of doing my Wordy Wednesday just because there's a heatwave. Not unless I die or am hospitalised. Which wasn't what I wanted to hear. What's the point of paying your legal team huge salaries if they don't give you the right answer?
According to the thermometer in my lounge, it's around 30 Celsius. Translated for my American readers, that's "Too Hot". Especially at 7pm. I'm working up a sweat just typing.
In retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to open the windows, as I just ended up letting more hot air in. I did consider sitting in a bath of cold water with my laptop, but I'd probably drop it in and fry myself.
The last time we had a hot summer I tried having a cold bath. The main problem is that you can't spend your whole life in the bathtub, and when you get out you feel even hotter. It also reminded me of something I read years ago, about a couple on their wedding night.
The man worked in a mortuary, and he informed his bride that he could only enjoy sex with women who were dead, or pretended to be. I dread to think how he found this out in the first place. Anyway, he told her she had to lie in a bath of cold water for 20 minutes and then go to bed and play dead. Needless to say, she spent the night at her mother's.
With that chilling thought, I'm off to get a cold drink.