Thursday, 14 February 2008

Grumpy (not old) man and naked woman


I'm not really into special days. Not even birthdays. But Valentine's Day just seems to get worse every year. Fortunately, I've not had to "celebrate" it recently, but I used to get by with the minimum possible fuss when I was married.

But, you say, what a romantic day! Just the two of you, out for that special intimate meal - surrounded by so many other couples it's like a market place. Or flowers at specially inflated prices (I wasn't able to avoid that one), or cards.

I don't generally do cards. For any occasion. Cards are supposed to be sent to people on special days. People that you're not going to see. When I was married I saw my wife nearly every day. What would I want to get her a card for?

Then there's chocolate. The modern woman is on a constant diet and views such gifts with suspicion. Do you really want her to get fat? Haven't you noticed that she's on a diet? Don't you care? Actually, you wanted to get something special, to give her a break from all that fat-free, sugar-free, flavour-free stuff, but she doesn't see it that way.

I hope that those of you who will be "celebrating" this occasion have a nice day. I hope you don't have an allergic reaction to the flowers, that you don't get sick on chocolate and champagne.

The day wouldn't be complete without a reference to Aphrodite, Goddess of Love. Pretty much the ideal woman. Sex mad and not into fashion (or indeed clothes at all). No wonder they used to worship her...

26 comments:

Dan said...

I'm first but wont make a big deal about it.
Today is all about pleasing your
woman, if she doesn't want anything good, if she's the type that like to celebrate good, suck it up and please her. In return you'll get laid in a way you don't everyday. So I actually enjoy today. I'll do the flowers and tell her that I love her about 2,000 times, take her out and give her a card.

Dan said...

Aphrodite needs to cut the carbs

Bee said...

Ladies and gentlemen my brother the walking hormone.

Bee said...

Brian, just so you know, my brother and his wife celebrate the opening of an envelope.

Quite nauseating actually.

Jean Knee said...

ewww

Jean Knee said...

so, just what is wrong with Shrek I would like to know?

Jean Knee said...

Aphrodite has a lovely figure, Dan. At first I thought it was me. Yes I look much like the godesss of love. Back in the good old days fleshless woman were not thought to be sexy.

Bee said...

jean knee:
Did Brian answer the wrong way to your stalking questionnaire??
For shame Brian!
For shame!

Jean Knee said...

yes he did, he totally got the shrek question wrong. wrong I tell you.

Bee said...

Brian! I didn't know you were an Anti-Ogre-ite! An Ogre-ist!

Bee said...

I'm thinking about hooking Dan up with a blog. Would you guys visit him? And make fun of his funny face?

Jean Knee said...

yep

Bee said...

Brian is either at the pub or shopping, either way I don't think it's nice of him to leave us hanging.

Dan said...

Jean Knee
That was then, this is now. They should take an electric sander and work the bellie.

Jean Knee said...

You talkin bout me or the statue?

don't make me sic Bee on you

you either Brian

Jean Knee said...

maybe he doesn't like being judged by ogre love

seriously was there ever a funnier and more obnoxious side kick? I love donkeys.

I heard that

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

Have fun.

Bee:

Of course I'd visit Dan's blog.

Shrek Fans:

I'm not that keen on Animation. I'm less keen on children's films, and I'm really not keen on American style overegged morality.

I don't mind ogres.

Jean Knee:

Are you going to get your hair done like her? I'd put some clothes on, though. Especially in this weather.

Jean Knee said...

Have you seen Shrek? cuz it's good and not that stuff you said.


I now have Peter Pan hair and cannot have that hairstyle. I am dressed however

Jean Knee said...

Plus Princess Fiona is kick ass

Brian o Vretanos said...

Yes, I've seen it, and I know a lot of people like it. It's just not my cup of tea, I'm afraid.

Bee said...

Well jean knee, are you gonna post a picture or what???
Princess Fiona would.

Dan said...

Check out my blog courtesy of my awesome sister!
Dan, The People's Blogger

Brian o Vretanos said...

**********************
. H O O R A Y !
**********************

Bee said...

I posted this on Dan's but now I'm posting it on yours for encouraging him:
::BLECH!!::

Tracy said...

I so wish that the thin thing would go out again. I would totally be back in style then.
We don't do the romantic couple thing anymore. In fact, I think we only did it the first V Day we had together. Now we make it a family day.
I make a nice (nicer than normal) dinner and then we do chocolate fondue and the kids make a huge mess and then I get to clean it up.
And the best thing is, I wouldn't have it any other way.

And I think you should give Shrek another chance. It's one of the very few movies I love to watch with my kids. They have jokes in there that fly over the kids heads. Just for the adults.
Come on Brian. Be pro-ogre!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

The main thing is that you enjoy the day.

You won't convince me about Shrek, though...