Friday, 22 February 2008

Dead Lucky


As you may remember, I'm not very hopeful of a lottery win anytime soon, since I don't buy a ticket. I don't really think lotteries are very good. You're far better off with the horses, or in a casino. Not that I bet on those, either.

However, a lot of people don't agree with me. In Marano in Italy they think the lottery is such a good idea that there should be one for dead people.

There's clearly no point in giving them money, since by all accounts they won't be able to spend it in their new homes. In fact the prize is precisely that, a new home.

There is a severe shortage of burial plots, so the lucky winners will get their very own space. Currently they're making an unplanned stopover at the local morgue.

Apparently, the problem is only a temporary one, as a new cemetery with space for 1,000 will soon be opening. However, I think that the idea of prizes for dead people is a good one, though I'd do it a little differently.

I think that the first prize should be a memorial. Different weeks they could do a different one. Maybe get a composer to write a song, or a poet an Ode, or a sculpturer erect a statue in a town square or whatever. Or a street named after them. People in generations to come would say "Who was that? What did they do?"

The point is that the people honoured in this way would be chosen entirely randomly. At the moment a lot of the great and good chosen for these sorts of memorials are military leaders whose forces slaughtered more people than their opponents. Or politicians who possibly attained their office through less than honorable means. Far better to pick someone who had a more "normal" life.

When I first saw this story, I thought I'd make something funny out of it, but actually, I'm serious. Deadly serious.

78 comments:

bee said...

first

Jean Knee said...

no way

Bee said...

from scarlet

Jean Knee said...

what happens to the losers do you think. Do they get to hang out in the parlour until the new cemetary opens. they'll need air freshener

Jean Knee said...

since the first bee is a fake I shall claim first for myself.

Jean Knee said...

what is that picture??

Jean Knee said...

Look at that, Brian can't even keep up

Jean Knee said...

I know what you're doing bee

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Ha! You're supposed to be at work! I knew you wouldn't be able to resist being first!

Jean Knee:

Bad Luck. You lose, and won't be winning this week's special hole in the ground.

The picture is entitled "Death of the Gravedigger" by Carlos Schwabe (1877 - 1927), who was apparently a Symbolist, which I don't think is a percussion player in a band.

Jean Knee said...

I won't let you

Bee said...

So, there I was. Sitting in the lunchroom area looking at my fingernails (I forgot my Lean Cuisine) when my trusty Scarlet shows me Brian is prompting jean knee into firstness! I had to immediately jump on the interworldwideweb and be first but I couldn’t figure out how to log on but still managed to leave an anonymous FIRST!! So there you have it! I am rock in all kinds of weather.

Jean Knee said...

get away with

Jean Knee said...

I knew you were doing that cuz I'm psychotic


don't make me wear your skin

Bee said...

::sigh::
I ROCK IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER!

Bee said...

DANG IT! Who was 11th??

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

You lose again! The least you could have done was be 11th. The trick is to open two different windows on the comment blog and write both the 10th and 11th comments, then post them one after the other very quickly.

The joys of tabbed browsing.

Bee said...

oh that was me!! Whoohooo!

Jean Knee said...

you're joining me with the witches for sure now

Bee said...

When I sell my bottled coolness I'll send you both a bottle for free! Or maybe half price.

Jean Knee said...

I would never do such a thing, Brian that is just cheating

Jean Knee said...

11 th

Jean Knee said...

I'm picking out your special herbs right now.....

Jean Knee said...

don't you two have any dirty dishes waiting for you???

Jean Knee said...

You will both be getting glittery bunnies from me now

Bee said...

THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!!

Jean Knee said...

this is just too much because I was browsing around looking for some paper mache bunnies to glitter when I was defeated


and i couldn't find the ones I want

Jean Knee said...

If death comes to the gravedigger, who will dig his grave????hmmm???

it's another one of those zen cone like things

Tracy said...

You know, we live near a horse track and one year for our anniversary my hubby took me there. We played the slots for a while but they were boring since I could never figure out what was going on and I kept losing $20 a pop.
But then I bet on a horse, I picked it's name because I was going through an organic phase and the horse's name was Earth Cookie. My horse won and I was so excited. I went to claim my winnings and the woman said "Wow, you win seven fifty." I freaked out..Hit Chris and yelled "Did you hear that? I won seven hundred and fifty bucks with my Earth Cookie!" My balloon was instantly deflated when the woman started peeling out the dollar bills. Turns out that I won seven dollars and fifty cents. It was still great.
As for the lottery, I love your idea. I like the thought of having a statue erected in my likeness just for having the life of a stay at home mom. I've always complained about how nothing great ever happens to me.

Jean Knee said...

I knew that would leave you speechless

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

There's more than one gravedigger.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

They do say gambling can get to be an addiction.

The only thing about my idea is that you'll never know whether you win or not.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Maybe the gravedigger knew of his impending doom and dug his own grave.

Brian o Vretanos said...

I think you lot are corrupting me - I'm starting to write like an American. viz: "Different weeks they could do a different one."

Jean Knee said...

America is the land of corruption


and, unlike the British...we don't feel guilty about it

Bee said...

BRIAN!!
I have commented 8 times and you know how many times you've responded to my comments?
Once.
I'm not jealous or anything...

Bee said...

Nope. Not one little bit.

Dan said...

I putting my ashes in a sand hour glass.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

That's because you were mainly talking to Jean Knee and not me. Not that I'm jealous or anything...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

If blog commenting ever becomes an olympic sport they'll probably ban black mobile technology. Even if it's red.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

You could bottle your coolness whilst it lasts, and send it to those of us who are in warmer climates and don't have air conditioning.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

That makes them four, the end's in sight.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

'tis all because your eyes are bright

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Now just a pair to end in "oo"

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

When maids command what can't we do?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

You now owe me 2 comments...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Actually, it was one, but now you owe me 2

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

That's a good idea. You can also get your ashes made into diamonds.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

Are you a good timekeeper? ;-)

Bee said...

I can't rhyme worth a dime.

Bee said...

You'll have to settle and listen to metal.




you know, because metal doesn't rhyme. Metal as in music.

Tracy said...

Jean Knee- I would like a glittery bunny too! I've never had a glittery bunny but I could add it to my seashell art Easter Bunny. His picture is in my sidebar.

Dan- My aunt still says that when she dies she's going to have herself stuffed and put in the corner of her bedroom so that she can keep an eye on her husband. Have I ever mentioned that I live in West Virginia?

Brian- I whole heartedly agree that gambling is addicting. Do you all have scratch off lottery tickets there? I am so bad with those! I will spend $10 on tickets and then get really excited if I win $1 then I'll spend that on another ticket. Thank goodness I'm not overly wealthy. I wouldn't be for long!

Jean Knee said...

there is no answer cuz it's a zen kohn

see it's like a paradoxical type thing


plus you get to smoke weed and be one with nature

Jean Knee said...

no one gets any bunnies--they were not cute enough

Bee said...

I WANT THE BUNNIES!! and the weed.

Bee said...

I WAS JUST ELEVENTH AT TRACY'S BLOG! So waht if you're sleeping, that's no excuse!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

Have a look at this: Jeremy Bentham

He was a philosopher who had his body preserved and put in his university so that he could still be present at their committee meetings. Who would want to spend eternity going to meetings? ;-)

We have lottery scratch cards. I have never ever bought one.

Jean Knee:

I don't agree that it's a zen cone. Even if he was the only living gravedigger and no-one else could or would take his place, then they'd just cremate him.

Jean Knee said...

you have to smoke the weed first and then think about the zen-ness of the cone




wow, things are really 'dead' around here today

Jean Knee said...

that's what she said

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Oh, okay. I'll take your word for it.

Dead, like a graveyard.

Jean Knee said...

I hope I didn't lead you to believe that I smoke weed, I do not.

in fact I do not smoke anything. If I smoked, it would be a pip(not as in bong)

Jean Knee said...

I meant pipe

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Oh well, I suppose we'll never get to the bottom of the zen cones and the higher plane of understanding.

I suppose you could smoke pips in a pipe...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Smoking pipes makes some kind of sense. Smoking pots strikes me as rather impractical ;-)

Brian o Vretanos said...

It seems I spoke too soon. Forget about getting your microwave repaired, check this out:

Flower Pot Smoker

Bee said...

Okay you guys, just for you, I'll smoke the weed and let you know what's up.

Jean Knee said...

my dad used to smoke a pipe and I always liked the smell


I could do that flower pot thing except the meat is frozen and I can't thaw it out in the microwave.....

Jean Knee said...

Bee is going on a date


I'm so jealous

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

The only problem is that in order to understand what you're talking about we'll have to be stoned too...

Jean Knee:

Couldn't you get some fresh meat?

Bee said...

That's what she said!!!

Bee said...

70!!!!!!!!!!!

Bee said...

Okay, now I'm goin'.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Okay. We hope you enjoyed your stay, and that we will have the pleasure of your custom in the near future.

Have a Nice Day.

Jean Knee said...

I'm still jealous

Tracy said...

I have decided that since Bee is being so selfless as to smoke the pot, I will be selfless and smoke it with her so that
1. She's not doing it all alone
2. You will get two post enhanced point of views..
You are all welcome.

Tracy said...

Ok, why would someone want to steal somebody's decomposing head? What does one do with a souvenier like that?

Jean Knee said...

Oh those college pranks, how I miss yee

Bee said...

WOOHOO TRACY!! You feelin' it yet???
Damn is that a unicorn?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Oh great! I'm getting all the potheads now...

Come in, make yourself at home, light up a joint...

Don't mind me...