Tuesday, 8 April 2008

Crime doesn't always pay

I've just been reading about the Czech shop assistant who foiled an armed robbery. The youth was wearing a Spiderman mask, and pointed a gun at the woman, demanding money. Instead she offered him tea and cake, and asked what a nice young man like him thought he was doing trying to commit robbery. After some refreshments, he left empty handed.

I've often wondered about this sort of thing. What people who use guns to get their way actually do if someone says "no". Though if I was looking down the barrel at the time, I suspect my curiosity would quickly disappear. I suspect that unless you're a reasonably mature woman the old cake routine wouldn't work.

There's something very satisfying about incompetent robbers. I love that clip which is shown on almost every "stupid criminal" programme - the one where the robbers couldn't get out of the bank because they didn't realise you had to pull to open the doors - presumably that sort of important detail is supposed to be picked up when you "case the joint".

Or the thief who stole a record collection, then later returned it because they were Des O'Connor records. [NB: Link not safe for work!]

Another brilliant one is the recent story about bank robbers in Mexico who tunnelled into a bank, but miscalculated and ended up in a locked toilet instead of the vault. With all the alarms going off, they probably felt a pressing need to use the facilities, though I doubt they had time.

They really should give more publicity to these people, in particular plastering their names and faces all over the media at every opportunity. Surely the possibility that you might spend the rest of your life as a laughing stock would be a better disincentive to becoming a robber than the threat of a prison sentence.

However, a bigger deterrent could be to sentence theives with a year listening to Des O'Connor records non-stop...


Dan said...

First !

2 weeks ago a few blocks away from my house a robber went in to a muffler shop, the workers told him
they had no money and that he should leave his cell phone number so when the owner came in he could come back and rob him.
This guy actually gave them his cell phone number and left.
They called the cops and all assumed it was not the correct number but decided to call him anyway. To everyones suprise this idiot came back and was arrested.

Brian o Vretanos said...


That's brilliant! I suppose a life of crime attracts those who are too stupid to make a living legally ;-)

Chris said...

I think every home should just have a very old lady as a home security system!

In the past 3 weeks there have been two separate stories on the news of burlary attempts on the elderly.

The first lady beat the heck out of the would-be thief and screamed at him about being a 'young punk' to the point the kid gave up and took off.

The second lady found them breaking in her house and as they had broken a window there was glass everywhere. What did she do? Made them stop and clean up the glass! And they did!

As she told reporters, 'You just don't go around leaving broken glass everywhere! Especially when an old lady lives here. Someone could get hurt!'

Bee said...

In the news the other day was this guy who robbed a convenience store but there was only about $20 in the register. He decided to stay and work the register until more people came. He’s seen on surveillance making change and stuff. They caught him.

Another one tried to rob a convenience store but the cashier told him she couldn’t open the register without him buying something. He bought a pack of gum and gave her a twenty when opened the register and he grabbed the money in the drawer and ran. There was about $18 in there but he left his $20.

Jean Knee said...

that Des weren't so bad

Bee said...

Brian, what is a Ubuntu???
I was going to click but was afraid it take me to somewhere Greeky.

Brian o Vretanos said...


That's a good idea. Now, where do I find one...


That's great - you can't rob us until you make a purchase ;-)

Jean Knee:

No, he's not that bad. But they did return his records.


Not Greeky, geeky ;-)
Ubuntu is the Linux operating system that I've got on my desktop rather than Windows. Version 8.04 (Hardy Heron) is out on the 24th.

You can follow the link quite happily. It's in English and there's no crooning.

Bee said...

What if I want crooning?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Then you should check out Des O'Connor's website. I just didn't think you'd want that blaring out of your computer at work. Though the bats would probably love it, I suppose.

Bee said...

Brian, I almsot killed OZ today. I almsot strangled him with my little hands.
He doesn't know how close he came to taking a last breath!


Bee said...

I am sitting at my desk trying to control my breathing.

Brian o Vretanos said...

No point asking you how your day's going then ;-)

I'm glad you didn't.

You should try some of those office stress-relieving things, such as a squeezy ball, or a punch-bag ;-)

Bee said...

Maybe a punching bag.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Can't you confront him - have a good rant?

Bee said...

You are too funny! I did cofront him and have a good rant. :o)
This is why I'm so ticked off because he is so obtuse!

Tracy said...

What was so inappropriate about Des's site? I didn't see any body parts other than his big ol head.

You know, my grandparents owned and operated a small country store and sometimes my grandfather would give lines of credit to people whom he knew had no way of paying it back.
In the years before my grandmother died, she would read the obits. in the paper and when she saw that someone who owed credit had passed, she would go dig in her box of credit slips until she found the recently deceased and mark "Paid in full" on it. That always cracked me up.
You just don't mess with the elderly.

Bee said...


Brian o Vretanos said...


I wrote this post whilst unable to sleep at 2am this morning. When I followed the link to Des's site, his singing started blaring out of my laptop. I don't know where the mute button is, so had to hastily lunge for the volume control. I suspect that my neighbours would not have been massively impressed.

It occurred to me that it would be funny if Bee did the same thing at work, but decided that it would be mean not to put a warning ;-)