Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Wordy Wednesday Goes Sub Zero

Snow Fun

It's rather cold here at the moment. On Monday morning there was snow on the ground, and this evening it has started to snow again. Actually, it's more like sleet. I suppose this means that the temperature has risen above zero for the first time in a few days, and probably also means that I ought to go to work wearing ice skates tomorrow.

When it's cold and miserable in other parts of the country, such as the North of England, or Scotland, I don't mind. After all, people who want to live that close to the North Pole deserve everything they get. However, once it gets far enough South to affect me, it's no longer amusing. Usually snow isn't a problem here because the rain soon washes it away, but it's simply too cold for that at the moment.

I've not ventured very far in these Arctic conditions, and I'm now living off tins. It's not that I couldn't drive to the shops, or even walk to the ones across the road, but I'm putting off the shopping until it's necessary for once.

Some people seem to believe that snow is a good thing. However, there are only two basic reasons that they like it, and they're wrong:

It looks nice. Well, it does, but that's what pictures are for. It stops looking nice once enough shoes and tyres have been through it. It looks even worse with the various dog products that are secreted into and onto it. and if you slip over you might get a much closer look at it than you wanted. Particularly at the dog stuff.

You can make snowmen and throw snowballs. Only if you get enough and the conditions are exactly right. Otherwise you end up with the wrong type of snow, just like on the railways, and the snowman doesn't stick together.

Climate Change

I've said this before, but since scientists are increasingly convinced that humanity is causing major climate change we should stop worrying about trying to prevent it, and instead look at how we can harness it. It'd be wonderful if we could totally control the temperature, like you can with air conditioning and central heating. Of course, people would argue about what to set the thermostats to, but that's what democracy is for. "Vote Green for a cooler Britain", or whatever.

I've worked out how to do it. They could make some kind of under-pavement heating system by drilling deep down into the earth and piping hot volcanic stuff around. Then to cool down hot areas, they could pump sea water instead - after all, they're worried about the rising water levels, aren't they?

The BOV Patent World Climate Control System should make weather extremes a thing of the past, and hopefully make me a few quid as well. The only problem I can see is that if this prevents sea levels from rising as much as predicted, then London might not end up underwater. Still, you can't have everything...

20 comments:

Jean Knee said...

FIRST

It's in the 60's here. I agree with you snow stinks-hate it

now the global warming solution seems like a good idea, better check with Father Al first though.

What's wrong with London?? I like London. except for those enormous geese they have in the parks

Bee said...

It's snowing here too and I have to say that I enjoy the view my living room window but driving in it is crap.

Last night, we went to celebrate my MIL's birthday at their house. On the way back, my FIL calls to tell me I'd forgotten my purse. We were about 4 minutes from my house so back we went. It wouldn't have been so bad except for 3 things. It was snowing, it was late at night and Andy was driving.

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

London's far too big, and it has far too many people in it.

Bee:

At least if Andy was driving you could close your eyes. Or do you do that when you're driving too? ;-)

Chris Wood said...

We in the North of England laugh at cold and thumb our noses (collectively) at snow.

Kidding. I have a cold and am sit here sniffing. So let me know when you get the climate control thingy working, please. I think Manchester needs a Hawaiian climate.

And thank you for the Amazon review! You're a gent.

Brian o vretanos said...

Chris:

Hopefully the next technological breakthrough after the global climate control will be the eradication of colds, flus and puking viruses.

for a different kind of girl said...

Snow only looks pretty in paintings. That's as close as I wish I came to it. I hope to one day be a rich old person who can vacation in warmer climates. Until then, I'm broke and doomed to cold.

catscratch said...

Me and cold DO NOT get along. I hate it and I want to hibernate!

Dan said...

I also hate snow.
I'm moving to Texas when I retire at 40.

Chris said...

It's all snowy and icky here too. But the kids are loving it and so buys me an hour of quiet time when they are freezing their mittens off.

I however am sick of getting stuck in my dang driveway.

Then again, I don't have the advantage of the rare snow camel to help me over those drifts!

Brian o vretanos said...

Catscratch:

Hibernation sounds like a good option. Preferably with a large supply of beer!

Dan:

I can't wait. You'll be able to write more blog posts, and I'm looking forwards to pictures of you falling off horses...

Chris:

Hello! Nice to have you back :-)

I think I'd pass on the camel - I wonder if they slide around in the snow? I wouldn't want to ride one to find out.

Jean Knee said...

it's 73 degrees here today :)

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

I'm very happy for you. Things are looking up here, as well. We finally got rain to wash away all of the snow...

Kat said...

Rofl. Snow, how I love it. Don't forget: "Never eat yellow snow" ;o)

Brian o vretanos said...

Kat:

The park I walk to work through is frequented by some of my less cultured neighbours and their incontinent dogs, so yellow snow and brown "snowballs" are an issue, and make me even more worried about slipping and falling...

Donny Ruth said...

Finally people are starting to talk about the fact that Global Warming cannot be stopped, and isn't neccessarily even that bad.

I'm glad I saw this post. I'm sick of climate change determining when I can or cannot have a plastic bag to carry my groceries in.

Brian o vretanos said...

Donny:

Whatever the rights and wrongs of climate change, the fact is that we don't live on a planet that is or ever has been stable. Or in such a solar system or universe, for that matter.

No Cool Story said...

As you know Brian, I am a great supporter of Father Al and anything he says...thus doing my part for green. Yay go green!! Green! Green!

We've had snow and ice and lots of rain.
Aww, I love you climate.

PS: I am now 1st at Jean Knee's.

Brian o vretanos said...

NCS:

There's nothing green about snow.

If you do find any green snow don't eat it.

I bet Jean Knee tipped you off again. It's a consipracy...

Anndi said...

I live in Canada with two dogs... yeah, I hate snow.

Jean Knee said...

I didn't tip anybody off this time.

somewhere far away Father Al looks at the stars and dreams...........