There is no photograph of either of us, because some readers might just spend all their time gazing lovingly at it. However, there is a little treat for the ladies at the end of this post.
Why I Am So Much Better than BP:
- I do not live in a cave: Research suggests that women find BP attractive because he looks like a caveman. Come on, ladies! In the 21st Century where we have houses with heating, electricity, etc, why do you want to go back to the Stone Age? Maybe this is why Angelina Jolie prefers to spend so much time in war zones.
- I am not passionate about good causes: Okay, I agree with quite a few of BP's concerns, but I wouldn't describe myself as "passionate" about them. You may think that it's great to see BP's sensitive side, but I suspect that most women aren't so crazy about Al Gore, which is what BP will become in a few years.
- I am not as old: He's getting past it now. Almost on the wrong side of the line between 40 and 50. It'll be plastic surgery next. If you do get your hands on him, bits will probably come off in them.
- I am not sleeping with Angelina Jolie: I'm sure women wouldn't want to have to compete with her.
- I've not yet realised my potential: BP has won all sorts of things, and has been voted the sexiest man alive, and all that. The only way for him is down. I on the other hand can only get better.
Finally, just for the ladies, here is a picture of a Brad Pitt lookalike. Enjoy!