Saturday, 26 January 2008

Road Signs

Driving back from town this morning, I found myself behind a vehicle that had in large letters on the rear windscreen "Keep Your Distance. Kid's on board." Now, I don't know who "Kid" is, but it was an example of the sort of thing that really pisses me off. I'm not referring to the apostrophe, but the whole message.

Really, I should be grateful. Otherwise how would I know which cars I can happily run into the back of? I was going to drive inconsiderately and dangerously, but now you've drawn my attention to the fact that you might have children in your car, I will be careful.

At least I could read it though. Often they're much smaller, so that you have to get really close to find out that it says "Back Off", or "Baby on Board".

I don't like tailgaters. Tailgaters are total tossers. They don't think about their own safety, let alone anyone else's. I can't imagine that these signs do any good. The most effective solution I've found (short of attaching a flame-thrower to the back of my car) is to slow down suddenly. Using the gears so that the brake lights don't come on. They tend to back off. Way back sometimes.

Talking of brake lights, the other habit I dislike is people stopped at traffic lights who put on their brakes as you approach them. Apparently this is a friendly and helpful indication that they are stationary. Thanks for doing that. Otherwise I'd not have noticed and run into you. I don't feel helped. I feel insulted.

Once I had stopped being pissed off by Mr or Mrs "Kid's on board", it occured to me that there might be money to be made from such signs. How about one with a target, and the words: "Do Me A Favour. Mother In Law on Board"?


Bee said...

HA HA HA! MIL! HAHAHAHA! Do you do custom orders? Mine wouldn't be MIL... in the US when you are stationary the break lights are always on. As soon as we hit the breaks the come on automatically, probably cuz our caes are Automatics maybe/

Brian o Vretanos said...

Yes it's to do with automatics. You can keep your foot on the brake at the traffic lights.

Our brake lights come on as well when you touch the brakes, but we don't use the brake when stationary - we put on the handbrake instead, since we need out feet on the clutch and gas before we move again.

Bee said...

In my defense on all the wrong bad spelling punctuation, I typed with the aid of my old lady spectacles!

Dan said...

Brian, don't get offended over these signs, they are meant for stupid people. Many, Many stupid people have drivers licences
I vote for manatory IQ tests before giving anyone a drivers licence.
Bad drivers are Stupid and ignorant.

Dan said...

there's a human looking thing on Mars!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I the only one who thinks this is a big deal ?

Brian o Vretanos said...


Stupid Drivers:

I've nothing to add - other than "amen".

Man on Mars:

I'd missed the whole story, but I note that they also found Mother Theresa on toast.

Brian o Vretanos said...


Typos? You mean worse than usual? ;-)

I didn't realise they were mistakes. I just assumed that they were Americanisms ;-)

Dan said...

what !!!!!!!
mother teresa on toast !!!!!!!

Jean Knee said...

you can get help for your road rage. I'm sure Tom Cruise can help you, or Dr. Phil, or even Brittney Spears cuz she's not crazy.

Dan, I have a Holy Toast maker I can lend you--It's The mother of Jesus not Mother theresa though

Bee said...

Dan, I found the picture and it is erie but it must be a weird rock. Here's the linky

you know I can't do the hyperlink.

Jean Knee said...

Bee, I asked Brian to do a tutorial on the link thing in one of my comments, did you read it?

I can't remember how either

Tracy said...

I love your idea of new signs!
My father, who was a truck driver, taught me the importance of knowing how to do "brake checks". I can't tell you how many people have taken the hint and backed off.
Oh, and just out of curiosity, where do you live to have signs with that kind of writing?

Brian o Vretanos said...


The sign is Irish - I don't live there - I got the picture online. I'm not sure whether it is a place sign at the top, or whether it's related to the yellow one. I also don't know what it means...

Bee said...

I think it means "Careful, Soccer game might be in progress"
or "Points if you hit him"

Brian o Vretanos said...

If it's soccer, then where's the ball? I wondered if it was on a slope - it's difficult to tell from the picture. I thought perhaps the "leanai" word was from "lean". The top picture looks like the normal "loose stones on the road" sign, so maybe it means that stones from the hill might end up on the road, and that people going down the hill might not be able to stop in time and may end up running in front of cars.

But that's more boring than your "points" idea...