Saturday, 26 January 2008
Driving back from town this morning, I found myself behind a vehicle that had in large letters on the rear windscreen "Keep Your Distance. Kid's on board." Now, I don't know who "Kid" is, but it was an example of the sort of thing that really pisses me off. I'm not referring to the apostrophe, but the whole message.
Really, I should be grateful. Otherwise how would I know which cars I can happily run into the back of? I was going to drive inconsiderately and dangerously, but now you've drawn my attention to the fact that you might have children in your car, I will be careful.
At least I could read it though. Often they're much smaller, so that you have to get really close to find out that it says "Back Off", or "Baby on Board".
I don't like tailgaters. Tailgaters are total tossers. They don't think about their own safety, let alone anyone else's. I can't imagine that these signs do any good. The most effective solution I've found (short of attaching a flame-thrower to the back of my car) is to slow down suddenly. Using the gears so that the brake lights don't come on. They tend to back off. Way back sometimes.
Talking of brake lights, the other habit I dislike is people stopped at traffic lights who put on their brakes as you approach them. Apparently this is a friendly and helpful indication that they are stationary. Thanks for doing that. Otherwise I'd not have noticed and run into you. I don't feel helped. I feel insulted.
Once I had stopped being pissed off by Mr or Mrs "Kid's on board", it occured to me that there might be money to be made from such signs. How about one with a target, and the words: "Do Me A Favour. Mother In Law on Board"?