Picture: NASA APOD 17/2/2008Texas, Tuesday 19 February 2008:
Police announced today that they are assisting government scientists in a rather unusual "manhunt". They are searching for the source of a mysterious radio emission which has caused an area of space to become "cooked".
"It's just like someone's microwaved space", said the chief scientist leading the expedition. "We've never seen anything like it.". The area could cause a hazard for space shipping, but fortunately NASA have already launched their latest probe, and a special clean-up operation is now being planned for 2009.
"Basically, various particles of cosmic dust have been cooked. They have formed something that is a little bit like a very large piece of burnt food. Maybe a little like an overcooked onion ring. We plan to take a sample back to earth for proper analysis."
It is rumoured that the sample will be tasted by Martha Stewart, although officials refused to confirm this.
Meanwhile, the source of the emissions has been traced to Texas, where the hunt is on to find out what is doing this. Unfortunately, they stopped abruptly on Friday, and haven't been detected since.
"One of my scientists thinks it's a faulty microwave", said the Chief, "but I think that's a silly idea."
Em, Jean Knee...
154 comments:
first!!
HA HA HA!
Ooh! She is gonna get mad at you saying she's polluting space...
I would never pollute anything cept the air waves maybe.( with my braying)
Father Al would not like it.
Someone (MIL) messed with my Father Al Gore Valentine card. I knew the exact placement down to longitude latitude and someone knocked him over on his face then tried to put him back (he was craftily displayed in a sweet red basket, awww) but couldn't do it.
I believe the last thing to be zapped was a totino pizza roll--
very vile
Ahhhh! I made those for my niece on Friday! Coincidence?
Jean Knee:
Father Al would be proud of you. Surely pumping crap into space would be far better than leaving it in the Earth's atmosphere?
Maybe they could construct a huge pipe on a similar principle to the Space Elevator, and pump all the CO2 through it?
Are they going to ban fizzy drinks? What proportion of CO2 emissions are caused by Coke?
So many questions, but as an Al Gore follower I hope you can answer them.
Bee:
I hope your microwave didn't go mad. Or did you use a normal oven?
I've never heard of pizza roll - I'll have to look out for it, I'm sure Helena would love it.
not sure about co 2 emmissions.
pretty sure cow farts produce the most methane...how are these related? NCS keeps up with Father Al's technical side. I'm in charge of PR.
pizza rolls are a food group to kids
Jean Knee:
I think what you're implying is that we need to stop cooking with microwaves and instead use cow farts. If there's any left over, they could use it to make Coke.
11th!!!!!!!!!
HA!
The Monster Raving Loony Party had a proposal a few elections ago to use the hot air generated in parliamentary debates to heat the Nation's houses, but sadly they weren't elected.
OK, back to work cuz Gerald/Daniel have taken up too much of my time.
P.S.
Totinos Pizza Rolls are yummy no matter what jean knee says.
Did you just call me " Monster Raving Loony"??
Bee:
You? No, not at all. I was referring to one of the UK's political parties. See: OMRLP
exactly what I was implying, Brian. nail ..on...the...head
That. Is. Hilarious!
Dammit! I keep forgetting to "tick the box"!
not only that, you should have seen what he was saying about you in an email just now---he called you....no no no I can't say it...
shrek lover
shiek lover?
I've never met a shiek...
that I din't like.
Texas: vote for Kinky!!!
Over yonder: vote for Screaming Lord Sutch!!
I am so into politics now that the craft hoard has been moved to the dining room
Okay, I had already left but I had to come back now I'm going again.
nah, Bee I'm lyin
Jean Knee:
You should stand for election. I'd vote for you.
I stand for Peace, love, and recycling. not necessarily in that order
Wasn't Superman's sayin' "Truth, Justice and the American way"?
Jean Knee our Polka Dotted Superwoman!
I thought it sounded familiar
All the twitchers had gathered from miles around, binoculars ready, to see the rarley spotted "Greater Spotted Magpie". They waited for days silently in the trees. Until finally they spotted it flying through the air. Someone whispered "There!".
"False Alarm! It's just that damn Polka Dot Superwoman saving the planet again!" sighed another, and, disappointed and despondent, they all trudged off home.
All I can say is "Thank God" this didn't happen over West Virginia because I tend to burn things all the time, and I use my microwave a lot and I just know that I would be talented enough to burn space and then I would be sent to prison where I would be forced to marry a woman named Bertha. Oh the horror.
Honestly though, I think I could accomplish burning space. I've had a lot of practice.
I love the word trudged
when I race Lean, she runs and I trudge, I can still beat her with a head start
Tracy:
Some people have devices that buzz when dinner is ready, other people have smoke detectors ;-)
Jean Knee:
Trudge is certainly a very satisfyingly sounding word.
I rock 35th!! Yeah, that's right!
watch out Brian, I've heard red hair dye can addle the brain
Whoa! That's dangerous since I was already walking around half addled
wait, no I think it's black dye
Oh oh double trouble!
I thought your hair was already black
it' true I heard something about dark hair dye--maybe cancer causing, crap I can't remember
Brian., are you there? come in Brian do you read me, over
breaker 1 9 we got a smokey on our tail over here at interstate 35 north
Nah, my hair is brown but he dyed it black and red. He didn't want to dye it black but I made him. Now I'm scaurd!
No, not really. I'll do it again.
Oh lawrd! You really are in TEXAS!
Jean Knee:
Yes, I'm here.
By my calculations all that makes Bee's brain two and a half times addled.
That's considerably better than mine, and I've never even smoked hair dye.
do you have an accent, Bee?
I definitely have one but no one here seems to notice
do you have an accent Brian?
Not any more. I used to, but these days I speak RP.
whuts RP
People's Republic in a mirror
retro posh?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!
18 MORE MINUTES AND I BLOW THIS POP JOINT!
WORK I MEAN
it's almost time to cook supper and the microwave is still down.
you really shouldn't blow joints, it makes the sparks fly all over and makes for uneven burning of the , um, joint
so, is everyone watching the lunar eclipse tonight?
I need one right about now. And then a nap. And then some Cheetos!
HELL YEAH!! 7ish my time.
we really should have our own chat room
but once again I'm talking to just myself
but, I wasn't
Brian's putting on his snuggly PJ's and brushing his teeth right now
Eclipse:
I wasn't planning to.
RP:
"Received Pronounciation", which is Neutral English. Reasonably rare, because most people have some kind of accent.
I only read about the eclipse earlier when they said it would be happening at 3 am Greek time. Which I suppose means about 1 am here. Being Britain it'll be hidden by cloud. Always is.
bologna, you sound British to me
What do I sound like jean knee??
Rosie Perez??
I'm not sure, but you don't have that Illinois sound
Marissa Tomei???
I've never thought you would sound like Rosie Perez
maybe Marissa Tomeii ish
is your voice deep or girlie?
I'm more California soundin' Valley Girl-ish with hispanic attitudey
Brian what did you eat for supper? did you mocrowave it?
I prefer raspy thank you very much!
Don't ask me what I"m wearing next! [she warns waving her fist]
hmmmm. I sound little girlish with a hick accent on the side.
I always wanted a throaty voice
There's still time, smoke some cigs.
The eclipse will surely bring out the coyotes and their horrible yipping. I'll be awake all night if anyone has insomnia, you can join me for some Text Twist or zuma.
I microwaved the rice, but heated up the chicken curry on the hob.
no can do
Okay, I'm off to the races. LAter dudes!
What's a hob?
I love those curry dinners
I'm guessing the hob is the stove top?
bye, Bee
goodnight Brian
dang
Yes, it's the bit with the rings.
I get the microwave-in-the-bag rice, since it's so easy, and is done in 2 minutes.
I bought my microwave for about £30 3 1/2 years ago. If it ever goes kaput, I'll just throw it away and get a new one. It's not worth even considering getting it repaired.
ours is only 2 1/2 years old and is a built in light and vent combo.
I'll have a repairman out
maybe
did you notice without Bee here both our eyes glazed over?
I hadn't noticed that.
Anyway, I'll leave you to it, as I have to get to bed...
Wow, busy blog.
SC
Ummm... not really but people know I'm not from Chicaaaago.
You know Brian, I've actually had that happen where something boiled over in the oven during one of my cooking excursions and the fire alarm went of and I kid you not, both girls screamed "Yay, dinner's done!"
I'm not making that up, it's really that bad here.
Tracy, it's harder to burn things in the microwave....I seem to remember that from the old days (last week)
you've almost gotten 100 comments
wowsa
Did anybody watch the eclipse last night?
I did. It was huge!
Of Course, it was on my TV.
It was just too cold to go outside.
It was awesome!
Probably would have been better in person.
It made crazy peeps, crazier.
Yup! nutso!
ONE HUNDRED!!!!!!!!
I knew you might do that so I ran over here so I could do it
DANG
I couldn't see the eclipse because of clouds. it was dark so at least those dreadful coyotes kept their yaps shut
I've been crafting some especially "so sweet you want to tear your eyes out" stuff and missed 100
if you steal my rightful 100th spot again I will send it to you and then you'll have to display it or hurt my feelings.......
we're talking lace, pearls, tiny glittered eggs
Well then, I'll have to try again. ;op
Tracy:
Sounds like no-one's going to get food poisoning from your cooking. I can't believe it's bad, given that everyone in your household is thriving.
Jean Knee:
You're the only person to be 101th on my blog, I think.
Bee:
I'm glad you enjoyed the moon, or lack of it. I didn't wait up for it.
and oh so cute chicks....forgot about them
when I was in the sixth grade I rode bus 101. the driver's name was Nelson, he was wayyy kewl
101 is a good number
way to go Brian. You've blinded NCS with your Nantucket limerick.
you do realize most of my readers and lurkers are Church going women
except not me or Bee
I'm sorry but picturing NCS looking up Man from Nantucket almost had me squirting coffee from my good nostril!
The other having been damaged in a prior coffee squirting incident.
111!!!!!!!!!!!!
HA! In your face all of y'all!!!!
Hmmmmm... do you think blogger can keep up with One Thousand One Hundred and Eleven comments? I'm tempted to test it. Is your inbox big enough Brian?
That's what she said!!!
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
111 has no significance whatsoever
and now ther's glitter and a folded lace fan....
Oh man now I just squirted chocolate milk all over
snooort
Well, is it Brian? enquiring minds want to know
::sigh::
He's pobably busy typing a new post.
after all the work we put into this one? sigh
Brian, are you there? at the pub? shopping? eating curry?
watching your five tv channels?
you aren't ignoring us are you?
you better not be solving math problems...that would be just too much
121st! Ha! Ha!
121 = 11 x 11, as Jean Knee said, 111 has very little significance.
I have just returned from the pub, where, funnily enough, someone gave me a logic puzzle to solve. Which I did. And I had a burger there.
My inbox will I'm sure swell to whatever size is needed...
I wouldn't have said that if I wasn't tanked up on Guinness...
quit bragging, that is soo not kewl
Guiness...
)@( ::blech::
Bee:
I'm not really in a state to type a new post, I'm afraid.
Talking of post, A card came that says there's a grey bag waiting for me at the post office. This will be another mailbag - no doubt containing my fan mail.
Jean Knee:
Have you any ideas for good craty things I could do with grey mailbags? I'll have two of them once I've collected this one.
you could carry mail in them
Jean Knee:
That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?
Your getting another male hag?? What??
holy shit !!
129 , now 130 comments !!
male bag
yeah I didn't know bags had a gender either
next person to comment on mine will be 11th !!!
Bee
why the hell did you put in my profile that I was in Fashion ?
Cuz you are, don't be shy.
Brian, it's only 8:49 pm over by you, keep up noexcuses about being hammered!
so Dan, lets hear more about your fashion career...
next one to comment on my blog can be the honorary 11 th
Who else can say that they rocked the 137th comment? Huh? Nobody? oh that's right, because I DID!
You know though, I noticed that most of the comments are from Bee and Jean Knee. Chatty chatty chatty.
And Brian, the main reason my children are thriving is because my husband is an Italian kitchen God.
all comments count Tracy.
So Brian, how's that guiness feeling this morning?
what was in the mail bag?
140!!!!!!!!!!!!
th
Tracy:
137th! Wow! Italian cooking: Nice!
Jean Knee:
Considering I didn't drink that much, and I did my drinking early, I had no ill effects.
I've just come back from the Post Office. No cookies - just a couple of books from Cyprus.
what did ya do with the bag?
or is it hag?
Brian, can you see my T-Shirt? It says:
I was First AND Eleventh on jean knee's new post!
In. Your. Face. Brian!
Brian you're the second to know
I will soon be dancing naked and herb laden in the moonlight with witches! yessssss
she lyin
she wearin purple pants and a pukey sweater
Mailbags:
I put it with the other one. I'm starting a collection. Maybe they'll come in useful one day.
Jean Knee:
I was going to offer to come round and wash your dishes for you, but I'm not sure I want to see such an exhibition - the thought of those herbs being chucked around...
149...
150!
bRIAN, DID YOU JUST THREATEN TO PUT ME IN A MAIL BAG IN PIECES??
he's all snarkish today, it's from his hangover.
Bee did you get your invite? check your blog
Bee:
The way it works, is that you put whole things in mailbags, and they get to the other end in pieces. Especially if you write "fragile" on them...
If you want to post yourself somewhere, then you can borrow my mailbags. I wonder how much the postage would be, say, to somewhere warm like Hawaii?
Jean knee, I did and I'll have to decline cuz my wares are not for public viewing.
Brian, if they charge by wieght I'm SOL!
Later dudes, I have to do some "work" now. :o{
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