Friday, 16 May 2008


So, it's that time of year again, when we've had our allotted 3 or 4 days of sunshine, and people are thinking of where to go on their summer holiday. I won't be going anywhere. This is far better, since instead of having to choose one place to go, I can choose lots of places not to go.

So here is a guide to somewhere I'm not going, and have never been.


Egypt is a large North African country, with a population of over 80 million, and a rich history.

Reasons to go to Egypt:
  • Sand - People who go on holiday so they can lie in the sand and get sunburnt should seriously consider Egypt. Why go somewhere like Majorca that's got a couple of crowded beaches, when you can have whole deserts to yourself?
  • Pyramids - One of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
  • Ancient History - The ancient culture of the Pharoahs and stuff is fascinating.
  • Cairo - One of the cultural centres of the Middle East.

Reasons not to go to Egypt:

  • Sand - The country is pretty much a huge desert. No doubt you'll get sand on your shoes, on your clothes and in your sandwiches.
  • Pyramids - They've got some in Las Vegas. Or you can look at pictures on the internet, or in a book. The insides really do look a bit claustrophobic.
  • Ancient History - Fortunately they carted off the contents of several pyramids to London years ago, so that people didn't have to traipse all the way to North Africa to see them.
  • Cairo - Here's a picture of the smog.
So, I'll stay at home and watch The Mummy instead. I'm grateful to all of the people who did go, and who took all these wonderful photos and put them on Wiki. Thankyou.


Tracy said...


Tracy said...

That pyramid did look a bit claustriphobic. And I'm sure it must smell a bit musty, what with it being old and all.
And I've learned from out small turtle shaped sandbox that three kids and sand don't mix. And that's just from a little turtle sandbox. Can you imagine being in the middle of the desert?
And don't even get me started on the plane trip to get there.
I think I will just stay home and look at your pictures.
Where are we going next?

Brian o Vretanos said...


I really can't imagine being in the middle of the desert, with or without small children, but I bet it's pretty grim.

You could always sail there, I suppose.

I'm not sure where we'll go next - this is a mystery tour!

Jean Knee said...

I am reading a book right now set in Cairo about a group of friends who smoke dope every night on a houseboat, I guess so they don't notice the sand and smog and all.

we also have a friend who is from Egypt whom we call a Greek cuz it makes him mad.

see how multi-cultural I am

now that I think abouit it isn't Kashi an egyptian type word??

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Is this one of the books in your sidebar? What do they do during the day?

Apparently Jamshid al-Kashi was a prominent 14th Century Persian mathematician. I don't know if he made any contribution to the science of nutrition...

Dan said...

The first part of your blog made me want to go to Cairo, then you made me change my mind.
You would have made a good lawyer.

I'd much rather go to Vegas then to Cario.

Dan said...

SEVENTH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracy said...

Dan- Are we fighting for seventh now too? This is just too much to remember!

Brian- I've always wanted to go to an exotic island. Can you cover one of those on our trips so that I won't want to go to any of those either.
Oh and Ireland. Let's do Ireland too!

Brian o Vretanos said...


I'll have to see what my powers of persuasion can do - maybe I'll write a post that'll persuade you to send me money. Perhaps I should have been one of your TV evangelists ;-)


I know nothing about exotic islands, so I think that's an excellent suggestion.

Dan said...

I don't have TV evangilists,

Dan said...

eleventh !!!!!!!!!!

seventh and eleventh. seven eleven.

Jean Knee said...

those dope fiends have jobs during the day. their stoned rantings and search for the meaning of life are quite profound

Brian o Vretanos said...

I bet they spout some of those zen cone things, too. What's the book called, by the way? As someone who reads superficial things like Agatha Christie, would this be out of my league?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Okay, I've just looked at the titles on your list, and I'll make a wild guess at it being "Adrift on the Nile"

Jean Knee said...

yes, thats it. some parts I just pretend it's the dope talking and not really deep or meaningful. amounts to the same thing don't you think

Bee said...

Places I don't want you to post about because you'll ruin them for me:
Spain, Paris, Venice and the Grand Canyon.

I would love to go to Egypt but I wish it was less sandy and dessert like. Maybe in another lifetime when it becomes a jungle again.

Brian o Vretanos said...


Ok, here's the deal. I won't write about those places, and you will go there and post all about them on your blog...

I've been to Paris, so I can't write about not going there.