Sunday, 25 May 2008

Phuket!

Tracy asked for a guide to exotic islands. Well, here's one.


PHUKET

Phuket is the largest island in Thailand. It is a popular holiday resort. It was badly hit by the 2004 tsunami, but apparently 4 years on all traces of this disaster have gone.


Reasons you might want to visit Phuket

The Prestige: Phuket is one of those places that everyone knows is exotic. All your neighbours will be impressed and jealous. It's also suitably expensive.

The Beaches: There certainly are some unspoilt stretches of sand, if you like that sort of thing.
The Exotic Architecture: There aren't many places where the lighthouses look like this ancient (circa 1996) example:

The Nightlife: Phuket boasts an impressive array of services to cover all requirements: restaurants, bars, viagara, massage parlours (including erotic ones), and prostitutes catering for every taste and orientation.

The Scenery: It is impressive.



Reasons you might not want to visit Phuket

The Prestige: What? Spend all that money to go to "Fuckit"? Your blog friends will have a field day.

The Beaches: Who wants to lie on a beach getting skin cancer? Especially an empty one - fewer bikini-clad beauties to eye-up. And they don't even let them go topless...

The Exotic Architecture:

The Nightlife: Do you really want to have to deal with pushy viagara salesmen everywhere you go? People have died taking that stuff without proper medical advice. And apparently the prostitution thing is seriously complicated, and I'm told you can't tell the difference between the transvestites and the women. At least, not until it's too late...

The Scenery: Okay, I really can't think of anything bad or silly to say about it. It does look amazing.



Anyway, don't take my word for it. We're now all eagerly awaiting a proper travel report from Tracy.

12 comments:

Dan said...

Drive by Firsting, be back in a couple of hours.

Dan said...

Another reason not to visit Fuck It would be for fear of another Tsunami.
I want one of those "My friend went to Fuck it and all I got was this Fuck it T-shirt" T shirts.
The Transvestite thing sound scary, I'd need proof of gender first.

Dan said...

Had time to comment after all.

Jean Knee said...

transvestites are scary to me just in general, imagine hiring one accidently

Tracy said...

Ok, I have to admit, I giggled just at reading the title. That's one reason I couldn't go.

The "ancient architecture" looks like something I could see in Miami.

I don't think I need Viagra. What happens when a woman takes it anyways?

I'm not big on nightlife anymore and I wouldn't know what to do with a transvestite if one walked up and smacked me in the face. Although, if one did walk up and smack me in the face, I would think "what would Dan do?" or wwdd for short and kick him in the nuts!

And I would definately be terrified of another tsunami. It would be my luck that the one time I'm able to get to a place like that it would happen again.

And the scenery is beautiful but I'll just stick to looking at pictures on the internet.

Thank you Brian for doing this post for me. I feel much better now!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

That's a brilliant idea about the T-shirts!

I can't imagine it catching on, unfortunately. People call it "foo-kay" or even "poo-kay".

Jean Knee:

It doesn't bear thinking about...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Tracy:

I can't imagine it would be much fun with small children, either.

Some people think that viagra is an aphrodisiac, but apparently it's not been clinically proved.

Hurricanes in Miami are probably a lot more common, though Tsunamis aren't as easy to forecast. They've got some kind of early warning system now, I think.

Bee said...

I forgot to tell you not to do a post on Hawaii.

If Dan's idea gets off the ground, I would do a pronunciation key on the tshirt too. That way people know exactly how to say 'fuckit'

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

You mean you forgot to ask me? Who's blog is this anyway? (don't answer that!)

Okay, I'll add Hawaii to the list of ones not to do ;-)

Jean Knee said...

it's Mpnday and I forgot to read Post Secret, bye

Jean Knee said...

i meant Monday, only now it's Tuesday



so

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

That's the problem with holidays - it messes up your routine so you don't know what day it is...

Anyway, I'm glad you managed to tear yourself away from Secret Post long enough to pay me a visit.