Saturday, 20 September 2008
Cross My Palm With Silver
Whilst perusing today's "Simerini" paper, I happened to look at the horoscopes. Now, I know that I shouldn't doubt the soothsaying abilities of Maria Eleutheriou without waiting to see what the rest of the day brings, but I suspect that her prediction for Aquarius that "Love gives another dimension to your day" is unlikely to be very accurate, especially as I'm not planning to go anywhere.
However, Scorpios should perhaps heed the paper's warning not to fall into temptation (which Ms Eleutheriou tells us will be difficult to resist) and endanger a stable relationship, especially if they've recently been showered with "gifts" by a tall, older man. (okay, she didn't actually mention that last bit).
Anyway, I think I can do much better, so here is my prediction. This is provided as a service to my readers, and there's no charge, but you are welcome to send me money, preferably in the form of precious metals, given the state of the economy. I'm not going to abuse my supernatural powers and frighten you with what'll happen if you don't.
My Prediction and Advice for This Weekend
Things will not go entirely to plan this weekend. There will be problems involving people close to you. Try to face these with your usual good humour, imagination and violence.
Beware of people trying to swindle you - in particular, I see an email which you should avoid answering. You will wish that you had more money, but do not let this tempt you into doing anything drastic, such as robbing a bank. If you do, you will find that they don't have any either.
Although I know exactly how your love life will pan out this weekend, I can assure you that telling you would not help matters. All I'm able to say is that murder is not the answer. Not this weekend, anyway.
Don't bother - even if you buy a ticket, you won't win the jackpot. However, if you insist on ignoring this advice, I can reveal that the number 1 will be of significance.
Lucky Colour: Brownish blue with just a hint of fluorescent pink.
Today's Fortune Cookie (courtesy of my computer): "Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure."
There you go. You won't even need to get a Chinese meal this weekend.