No, this isn't a slipper mountain, though I'd be surprised if the European Union doesn't have one somewhere. To this end, I checked Wiki, and was rather disappointed not to find a list of the world's major slipper exporters. In fact, the page is rather short and contains a paragraph entitled "Use by the Pope". Shock, Horror, he wears slippers! And red ones, at that!
Red SlippersI wonder who found out this amazing fact? Did it make front page news in the tabloids? Did a breathless reporter phone their paper? "Hold the front page! I've got an exclusive on the Pope... Yeah, you know, the Catholic guy... P-o-p-e... No he's not a Rap artist... One of his housekeepers has been dishing the dirt... Can you wire me 10,000 Euros ASAP, please... 15,000 if you want her to pose topless..."
Anyway, it's occurred to me that I might be on the slippery slope to becoming a total recluse if I don't get out more, so I'm planning to go to the pub on a more regular basis, like I used to before I got a computer and came across you lot. I've never been very sociable anyway - in social situations, approaching someone I don't know and talking to them is almost as scary as lying in a bathtub full of live spiders.
I went last week for the first time in months, and people seemed pleased to see me. Not a lot changes, but someone else had died. So another motivation for going more often is to have a chance to talk to the regulars before they snuff it. Or before I do, I suppose. Life - that's another slippery slope...
More Slippery Stuff
With all this talk of tabloids, I thought I'd have a look at the Sun's website to see what their news headlines are. Since I'm not allowed to read British papers or news, I've not seen the Sun for years. However, 2 seconds on their site was enough to find a story about some celebrity who has had a boob job.
The "Shock Horror" element of it is that she apparently forgot to buy bigger tops, so her newly enhanced assets are in danger of slipping out. Of course, in reality, there's no way she was going to spend good money getting her breasts enlarged, only to keep them hidden. And the whole story is really there so that the "readers" can pretend to be reading the article rather than drooling over the picture. Before you ask, Dan, here's a link. It's better than Spongebob, though not by much.
I wonder if the Sun have any jobs going? It seems like easy work...
26 comments:
FIRST!
FIRST!
Sorry Brian, I'll come back later since the hackers have now disabled my internet.
Bee:
That's bad :-(
I don't like the way you said 'you lot'...
>:o[
I was just trying to be informal. Would you prefer one of these?
1. my adoring and loyal public
2. people who persuaded me to stay in and start a blog
3. the few people online who actually have the taste and discernment to read my blog
Personally I think "you lot" is better ;-)
why not just say ya'll, I mean really.
I never leave the house unless forced to do so. Last night I was forced to go to a bar & grill type place and play pool (billiards). I'm pretty sure Lean beat me and she didn't even use a stick
Jean Knee:
I don't have the accent for y'all. youse is similar, but I don't have the accent for that either.
Pool is not the same as billiards or snooker. Both of the latter use much larger tables.
I bet you'd beat me - I'm really rubbish...
I pray to heaven that, upon your return home from the pub, you don't log on and find that one of us amongst the lot has snuffed off!
Hey guess what!
I'm eleventh!
Yes! Still got it!
Oh crap, I don't want to be 13th..
Hang on a sec....
Ok, this is better.
I've always wondered what the pope was wearing underneath those robes.
If the pope gets the ruby slippers, what do you supposed the priests wear under their robes?
I'm glad to hear that you're getting out more..just so long as it doesn't effect your blog time. You still need to think about us after all.
And someone got a boob job? {gasps of shock and horror!!!} They are so behind the times, over here we get our babies boob jobs before they even leave the hospital after birth. It like circumcision but for the girls.
I kind of like those shoes.
I wore something similar today.
If you start going to pubs again, you should order different drinks each time.
Start with slow gin and orange juice.
FADKOG:
Don't even think about dying when I'm not online ;-)
Tracy:
Stilettos, I expect. Though apparently the Pope has his own clog-maker.
Bee:
Good morning!
You should go for a job like the Pope's, where you get your own shoe-maker.
I find it hard to believe that the vastly talented Chanelle needs another more than her natural ability to get attention.
Bwahahahahahaha.
BTW, the pope usually wear glittering stilettos. I know, I was brought up Catholic.
Bee, what's a slow gin and orange? Don't say "a gin and orange you drink slowly," or I'll have to become a hermit.
Brian, good for you getting to a boozer. Pubs need us in these dark days.
Chris, slow gin and OJ was my drink back in my fun girl days. It's sweet and delicious and can be ordered by asking for a Slow Screw.
add southern comfort and it becomes a sloe comfortable screw
did I mention I went to bar tending school
If I ask for one of those from the barmaid here, I'll probably just get a slap. But you never know...
I might just stick to beer.
probably for the best ;)
Why is it exactly you're not allowed to read English newspapers?
Anndi:
In order to learn Greek, I'm having to force myself to use it, so I've banned myself from reading online news, newspapers, and books in English, where possible. And I've done the same with TV and radio, particularly for the news.
I have to do this, since I've no "real" use for Greek. My only reason for learning it is that I wanted to when I lived in that part of the world as a teenager, and I'm just now getting round to it.
I work with a few Vietnamies guys and I've learned a few words, my favorite is..."mi love you long time"
I hope you all saw Full Metal Jacket.
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