Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Wordy Wednesday

I was going to call this post "High Heels and Anal Sex", but since it's Wednesday I won't. On days like this, though, I'm glad I don't have any site meters telling me about visitors to the blog, as I think I'd rather not know.


High Heels

On the Emilia Hour last night (back after her month off), there was a report about a High Heels race. I think it was in Australia, but I didn't catch the name of the country, and couldn't find it on the Web. How feeble is that? Apparently, they also have them in DC and Russia.

It amazes me that they don't have fatalities in races like this, but then it amazes me that anyone manages to walk in heels at all. Maybe it's easier than it looks - I've never tried. I'd have thought, though, that the women's lib movement would have done better in the 1960s to have been burning heels rather than bras (not that I've got any problem with them doing the latter too). Or don't liberated women wear them (heels, I mean)?


Words

Years ago I remember hearing about people who looked up an obscure word in the dictionary, then made a point of using it in normal conversation that day, or week. So for example, one might talk about the terrible negative equity in, say, Moss Side, Manchester, because houses there are likely to be subject to floccinaucinihilipilification in the current economic climate. That would have made a great last word on Chris' blog. Oh well.

Anyway, I took delivery of a brand new dictionary yesterday. It's a Cypriot-Greek-English dictionary, which I think qualifies just about every entry as obscure, as far as a lot of people are concerned. Cypriot is a dialect of Greek that preserves some Byzantine words and forms, as well as useful Turkish phrases for dice rolls in backgammon.

When they come to make the Cypriot Reservoir Dogs, they'll be thankful that the language has a word to describe someone who's had their left ear severed, though apparently this is more often used to talk about goats. I don't know why they cut their ears off...

I'm not sure I fully believe the English translations, though I suppose they're meant to explain the meaning rather than what you would actually say in English. Nevertheless, there is liberal use of the "F" and "C" words, with sexual connotations all over the place.

Here is an example. Chefalonno apparently means "to raise one's head, to grow, to become independent, to grow a stalk, to have an erection, to look after the clematis". I bet the last one about the clematis is something dodgy as well that's been literally translated.

You do have to remember that this dialect has been used by generations of villagers and farmers, who tend to talk about earthy things. And that in 1400 pages you're going to find some odd things.

Anyway, if you're looking for a challenge, try managing to slip "middle finger used for anal sex" into, em, a conversation...

44 comments:

Bee said...

FIRST!!

Bee said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!! HAHAHAHAHA!!

Um, would you have named the post buttsecks if it were Saturday? Or just cuz it always has to be Wordy Wednesday?

floccinaucinihilipilification

Brian o vretanos said...

Yes, probably...

I'm impressed at how casually you managed to get that flocci- word into your comment...

Anndi said...

Goat ear soup.

Brian o vretanos said...

Anndi:

Thankyou for that thought. I'm glad I've eaten already ;-)

That's a dish I don't remember having.

for a different kind of girl said...

So...the topic of high heels and anal sex is open for discussion on days other than Wednesdays? And would there be goats involved in the discussion? I think I need to brace myself for this turn of events!

Dan said...

So how do you say middle finger used for anal sex?

fin gerin holy ?
choco latefinger?
stinky digit?
unconstipator?

What is it?

Brian o vretanos said...

FADKOG:

Yes. Not that I was planning to have more discussions on these topics in the forseeable future...

Dan:

"Kaflin" - The Greek translation they give is "Colon-finger", though I can't find this in my other dictionaries.

Brian o vretanos said...

I don't want to give the impression that I spend a lot of time looking up obscene terms in dictionaries, incidentally...

Bee said...

Too late Brian. ;o)

Bee said...

ELEVENTH!!

Chris Wood said...

High heels & Anal Sex? I'm having to stop reading for a moment while I take that in ...

Brian o vretanos said...

Okay, I did find "colon-finger" in a dictionary, and it's translated in English as "the finger", as in "give someone the finger". I said I didn't trust the English translations in this new dictionary...

Bee said...

BWAHAHAHA CHRIS IS GOING TO "TAKE THAT IN"

Brian o vretanos said...

Chris:

A headline grabbing title, I'm sure you'll agree. For a small fee I'll let you use it in your next piece for the Grauniad...

Brian o vretanos said...

I meant attention-grabbing

Jean Knee said...

hmmm, well lets see. Oh yes I saw a high heel race recently on TV but the racers were men and one fell down repeatedly.

Dan--I'm liking stinky digit the most


could the little finger be used for anal sex too or am I missing the point here?

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

I think that the "point" is that people don't stick their little finger up (in the air) as an obscene gesture.

Jean Knee said...

dang my comment was soo witty, glad you got the point bwwaa hahahahaha

by the way- loved your pop up comment--so did Millie

Chris Wood said...

Okay, I've taken it in, and all I can say is OOOOWWWWW!!!!!! damn ...

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Your comments are always witty. And deep.

Chris:

Welcome back, but there really is no need to stand up - we're quite informal here.

Bee said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!

Chris Wood said...

I would love to sit down, Brian, but I have a stiletto up my arse.

Brian o vretanos said...

Chris:

Never mind, old chap, stiff upper lip and all that. We've got to show these foriegners what we're made of (and I wasn't thinking of shit and stilettos)...

Brian o vretanos said...

You didn't go to Public School, by any chance did you?

Chris Wood said...

No, but I was brought up Catholic.

I'm not sure me sticking a shoe up my arse is the best advert for England, but if you insist ...

Chris Wood said...

Mind you, it would make an interesting travel ad.

"Come to England. People like him stick footwear up their ringpieces."

Sponsored by the British Tourist Board.

Chris Wood said...

Bee -

floccinaucinihilipilification

What the fuck?

Brian o vretanos said...

Chris:

You wouldn't have thought that it was a good image to put over, but then what do I know - I was brought up as a godless heathen with a comprehensive education. Nevertheless, most of the world's leaders and military officers are educated here in schools where sticking things where the sun doesn't shine is a compulsory subject. Or so I gather...

Bee said...

First off, 2 guys battling... HOT!

Second, Chris, you didn't think I knew big words just cuz I'm American?? And it does not mean 'what the fuck'...

Chris Wood said...

Brian - I had to work at being a godless heathen, thank you very much. It was very difficult. You were better off without all the bullshit!

(Might also explain why only one of us has as shoe up his arse)

True about the leaders, and for some reason they grow up maladjusted!


Bee - it has nothing to do with you being American, cheeky sausage. It's just the most common of words. Do people say that a lot round your way?

Hello, Bee. What a lot of floccinaucinihilipilification we've been having recently. Is that a new hat?

Bee said...

That's exactly how our normal everyday conversations go! Except the hat bit. I don't wear hats because I look ridiculously good in them. I don't like to brag.

Chris Wood said...

Bee - No, I quite see that. Tres modest.

Well, if Brian thinks I'm using that word you Americans are so fond of in my blog, we can trade. He can use sesquipidalian in his. Sadly it has nothing to do with any type of sex.

(sorry)

Brian o vretanos said...

Chris:

I might have a go at using it in my next post. It's too late to use it in today's post. That's already been up for 3 hours, and Bee's not noticed yet. If you hurry you might beat her to it...

Bee said...

Sneaky! I see I was being distracted like a little poodle who’s shown a treat in one hand and a suppository in the other!

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

True, but the poodle's not supposed to choose the suppository...

Bee said...

What if it’s a kinky poodle?? Who are you to judge?

Brian o vretanos said...

Well, of course a pedigree poodle wouldn't be kinky. Otherwise the doggy people would excommunicate it.

Bee said...

Did I ever tell you I went to Catholic school too?? Do you think I behaved like a proper little lady?? I'm thinking the poodle is of the same mind "screw the rules!". What cool poodle!

Bee said...

A COOL POODLE

Brian o vretanos said...

My Catholic-educated mother agreed with Chris that she'd have better off without the bullshit, which is why her children didn't go through the same as her...

I bet you were more proper than you'd like to admit ;-)

Bee said...

Hey, how about you take that back??

Brian o vretanos said...

Methinks the lady doth protest too much ;-)

Bee said...

Oh so now I'm a lady? I can go back show you how many times you've called me the anti-lady.