I knew it was someone's birthday today, but it took me a while to remember the details. This is because your memory starts to go when you reach your 30s
A big birthday - a real achievement. I did some checking, and found that it is indeed someone's birthday.
George Carey, former Archbishop of Canterbury.
No that can't be right. I'm sure that the person I was thinking of doesn't walk round dressed like that.
Anyway, it's not your birthday, everyday, so I thought I'd better get you a present.
I wondered about a bouquet of flowers, but I didn't know where to send them. And dead vegetable matter wasn't really what I was looking for.
What about some live animals? thirty sheep? This seemed like a good idea until I realised that I don't know anything about sheep, so I'd probably be sold some dud ones.
No-one ever complains about something nice to eat, so in the end I decided to settle for a cake.
It took me a while to find one, though, because I had one difficult requirement.
Apart from not eating it before I got it home, that is.
Something that ordinary cakes just couldn't do.
Not at your age, anyway.
It had to be big enough to fit all your candles on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TRACY!