Saturday, 26 July 2008

House Guests

I was reading about the man in New Jersey who burnt down 80% of his flat whilst trying to rid himself of unwanted house guests, of the creepy crawly variety. I understand exactly how he feels.

I don't mind flies, or mosquitos, but I don't want to share my flat with moths, wasps, or worst of all eight-legged monsters. In fact, if I had a flame thrower, or a kalashnikov for that matter, my flat would be in a similar state as his by now.


Incidentally, that's a very entertaining film, and the special effects aren't bad, considering its age.

Anyway, I'm not massively keen on pets either, though we did have cats when I was a child. Unlike my sister, I was never that keen on things like Lassie, where a brainless animal saves lives and solves crimes on a weekly basis.

However, one couple in Melbourne, Australia have been saved from an agonising death by their pet rabbit, which woke them up to tell them that their house was burning down.

My flat's not really the right place for pets, and they're banned under the lease, but then I have smoke detectors, so I'm probably okay. The flat is also a bit small for a family of five to move in, so I'm hoping that Tracy will be so taken by the Australian rabbits that she'll want to emigrate to Melbourne. After all, the kids will spend all their time playing with the rabbits, so she won't need a nanny.

Nellie Melba

It's a great place. People sit around all day drinking beer (well, the men do whilst the Sheilas fetch it for them), and they have produced great opera singers such as Nellie Melba (named after Melbourne) and Joan Sutherland, not to mention painter, singer and digeridoo player Rolf Harris. Though fortunately for the Australians, he lives in Britain. They got rid of him after he made this:



If only I could persuade all the dog owners whose animals turn my daily walk to work into a shitty obstacle course to emigrate...

18 comments:

Bee said...

FIRST!!!

Bee said...

How imaginative those Australian rabbit owners are! They named their rabbit Rabbit! And here we struggled with naming our dogs.

Don;t they have laws about picking up dog poop. We get fined if we don't.

I liked that Australian diddy. Tracy's son will probably like it too and she'll be closer to moving to Australia.

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

Are you back? Did they fix your internet thing?

It's like Farmer Hogget in Babe, who calls his pig "pig".

Dan said...

that's the worse song I've ever heard in my life.
I saw Farmer Hogget at the airport once.

Brian o vretanos said...

Dan:

The farmer guy (James Cromwell) is absolutely brilliant in L.A. Confidential, which is a really good film.

If you think that song was bad, you should listen to some of his others ;-)

Here he is with 3 legs:

Jake the Peg

Brian o vretanos said...

Presumably the rightmost leg is the fake one, but it's a little difficult to tell, because he does it very well...

He's one of the few artists who the Queen has had her portrait painted by.

for a different kind of girl said...

That song made the dog we're watching this week go running like a crazed rabbit out of the room. This was both hilarious and clarifying. Now we know how to be entertained this week, yet now we're stuck having to save ourselves should something tragic happen in the next five days!

(Thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog. I'll be back!)

Jean Knee said...

oh geez I need a rabbit like that. If our house caught fire Polka Dot would be too stupid to do anything and Penny would break through the window to save her rawhide bone and then run.

Jean Knee said...

no wonder the Aussie's gave him the boot.

Brian o vretanos said...

FADKOG:

That dog has good taste...

Jean Knee:

I presume you can import Australian rabbits, or maybe other kinds would be okay.

Bee said...

ELEVENTH!!!

HA!

Bee said...

I am currently waiting for Dan and is wife to come over fro Brunch.

Anyone else coming?

Brian o vretanos said...

Bee:

It's a bit too late for brunch here, sadly, but I'm sure you'll have a great time discussing the market price of horse semen...

Tracy said...

You know, watching that video made me realise that I have heard it before on a Wiggles video. When the girls were little I had to listen to that song over and over and over again. Then I realised that Austrailia is the one who poluted my home and my children's brains with The Wiggles.
I also just read about these kangaroos attacking a defensless old lady.
That sealed the deal. I'm definately moving over there with you Brian. I can tell by all your little jokes that you've really got your heart set on it anyways. I wouldn't want to disappoint you!

Bee-You better be careful, I might change my mind and want to move there with you if you keep making your little comments. Don't push it.

Brian o vretanos said...

Tracy:

The man responsible for that song and many more lives here and is a star on British TV.

You're not a defenseless old lady, and I'm sure with your experience of keeping exotic animals, you'll be fine with Kangaroos.

You should ask your family whether they prefer to live somewhere where life revolves around beaches and barbecues, or here.

Personally, not being into beaches, I'm quite happy here - I wonder what they'll say?

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