Saturday, 5 July 2008

Parasites are a Girl's Best Friend

I'm not sure if I believe this story, as I couldn't find many sources for it. (Here's the Greek version, just for reference).

Apparently a businessman from Shanghai was trying to think of ways to increase sales at his online jewelery shop. Perhaps all sorts of ideas were floating around in his mind -
  • "Win a Holiday to Shanghai!"
  • "Getting Married? Get a Great Trade-in Price for your old Wedding Ring!"
  • "Something Special for the Woman in your Life? Discretion Guaranteed (we won't tell the wife)"
  • "Free fake Rolex with every purchase!"
  • "Get your Dead Mosquitos here!"
That's not a misprint. I did say "Dead Mosquitos". Whilst he was thinking up brilliant marketing schemes, he swatted a mosquito and decided that this was a sign. So he started advertising "hand killed" mosquitos. Ideal for scientific research or decoration.

The story says that he got 250,000 hits on his website, and 100,000 orders were placed for this unique product.

I think that if I was Nin Nan (that's the guy's name), I'd be rather depressed at this. After all, people would rather buy a dead insect for decoration than one of his baubles.

The other problem that he's now got is where to find 100,000 dead mosquitos, before he gets sued by angry customers demanding their goods within 28 days. There are good reasons why no-one has tried this particular publicity stunt before.

If it was me, I'd have gone for something like this:

"I'd Feel Naked Without My Pearls"

Much more tasteful than dead insects, if less original...


Dan said...


Dan said...

why are all the women in old paintings kind of fat?

Jean Knee said...

hmmmm, maybe I could try that with my online shop. Only maybe I could use hand swatted crickets--they are easier to find

how should I market them?

Brian o vretanos said...


I wouldn't call her fat. Her name's Victorina, by the way.

The reason that a lot of them were reasonably fleshly was that they hadn't invented supermodels, or women's magazines.

Jean Knee:

You could mention that they are greatly valued in some cultured because of their medicinal qualities. You could mention that men who eat crickets don't need viagra.

You should also point out that they're crunchy on the outside and soft on the inside.

Dan said...

Nah, Victorina is fat.

Bee said...

Man! I can fill up a 5 gallon bucket with dead mosquitoes from my backyard! I'll be rich!

I find it interesting that Victorina is nahked while the men around her are not even looking.

Brian o vretanos said...


Here's the full painting. There's another woman in the background in her underwear. They are supposed to be/have been bathing in the river. It was considered scandalous when it was painted.

Brian o vretanos said...


If mosquitos are so plentiful, it makes you wonder who the 100,000 people are who want to pay money for them.

Oh, and watch out you don't get bitten. Remember the West Nile Virus...

Sully Sullivan said...

Well I'm not sure if this more insane or ridiculous. I can't believe he got 100000 orders...where is this guy getting that kind of marketing from? I'm lucky if my blog gets 200 hits a day, but I guess it's not near as interesting as hand-killed insects.

Brian o vretanos said...


Here's a hint: You can't eat your blog.