Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Wordy Wednesday

5 Reasons Not to use Linux

I'm always tempted, as you probably know, to go on about how great Linux is, and I generally resist because there are more interesting things to write about, like cans of shit, but inspired by Bee's post today, here is a list of reasons not to use it. Well, actually, there's one reason.

You may prefer to skip all of this, and go straight to the bacon at the bottom of the post. I won't be very offended if you do this.

1. Linux isn't on 95% of desktop systems

This is the main good reason people don't use it. There aren't many home systems that come with Linux, and hardware manufacturers don't always write Linux drivers. So you have to check before you buy, say, a printer. The latest greatest game is probably not available either. I can't argue with this - I know a lot of people who won't switch because specific software is only available for Windows.

Since I could only come up with one real reason, here are some possibly less serious ones:

2. Your computer is unlikely to get a virus.

Because of that 95% thing, the evil virus writers usually concentrate on Windows machines, leaving us poor neglected Linux users with systems that tend to work reliably.

3. Ubuntu is brown

I've actually seen people quote this one online. When you install Ubuntu, by default it's colour scheme is orange and brown. That's not difficult to fix. I prefer red and blue myself.

4. You don't have to spend money on software

What's the point of using a system that comes with a free office suite (compatible with the leading brand), and a good alternative to Photoshop? It's clearly irresponsible during these times of economic downturn for people to use free software instead of helping out the poorer members of society, such as Bill Gates.

5. They've made it too easy to use

In the good old days, Linux was only for people who were serious computer geeks. Like the classic car enthusiasts, their system spent most of it's time (metaphorically) in bits whilst they rewrote parts of the kernel. Sadly nowadays distributions like Ubuntu are easier to set up than Windows and usually just work. Which means that the user community now includes (shudder) normal people.


In these days of plague and pestilence, there has been a suggestion that perhaps people should be careful about eating pork products, in case they somehow manage to contract Mad Pigs Disease from a dodgy hot dog. Of course you're far more likely to get food poisoning or whatever. So by way of showing some support for the much-maligned pig, here is Chris Pirillo eating some bacon. With chocolate. I couldn't get the link that he quotes to work, but I did find this one: Mo's Bacon Bar. Enjoy!


Jean Knee said...


back where I belong

After my encounter with bacon mints I'm kinda dodgy when it comes to new bacon treats

Jean Knee said...

$7.50 for a bacon bar? plus shipping I assume

no way

Brian o vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

I must admit I'm not tempted. After all, it wouldn't be too difficult to make your own cholocate-coated bacon, and it'd be a lot cheaper.

Jean Knee said...

how bout you try it and give us a post about its deliciousness?

including your expression while chewing

for a different kind of girl said...

I do not even know what Linux is, and will admit that at first, I was reading it as Linus, and I wondered why we had to stay away from Charlie Brown's good friend (well, second good friend aside from Snoopy). Linus is the bearer of wise words and sage advice!

Then I read it again. I still don't know that I know what Linux is.

I do know what bacon is. Same with chocolate. I would totally eat that.

Brian o vretanos said...

I'd probably set my flat on fire trying to cook the bacon.

If you don 't like the sound of the bacon bars, they also make mushroom and peanut-butter bars.

Brian o vretanos said...


Linux is named after Linus Torvaalds, who originally wrote it, so you weren't that far out.

I'm not sure if they make bacon & chocolate easter eggs, but you might want to look out for them next year.

Bee said...

I’m glad you see things my way, Brian.

Also, the word “dodgy” cracks me up! “Which hooker is mine? That one? She looks a little dodgy!”

Bee said...

Bacon is awesome enough without chocolate. In fact, my wish is that one my tombstone will read “Yep! I guess she had one too many pieces of bacon!”

Brian o vretanos said...


I completely understand your point of view.

I wonder what hot dogs would taste like with chocolate sauce on them?

Kat said...

Reason number three just made my day. Ubuntu is brown. Just like crack me up.

Jean Knee said...

I love the word dodgy too Bee and am using it every chance I get.

Brian, you have some really catchy words & phrase type things.

No Cool Story said...

No one shall speak ill of Bacon!!

No Cool Story said...

You've convinced me Brian.
I am saying no to Linux!

Chris Wood said...

Shame on you for giving pork products a bad name. I'm having sausages for breakfast.

Linux? Mungo no speak computer, but I agree the orange and brown colour would deter most people.

Brian o vretanos said...


I wouldn't dream of bad-mouthing bacon.


It wasn't me that suggested that pork might not be safe - it was the World Health Organisation, I think. I've no idea how they'd expect people to survive without sausages.