Monday, 22 December 2008
One Careful Owner
Nasa have announced that they're selling a couple of their Space Shuttles. Although I wasn't planning to change my car in just yet, it has got me thinking. There would be definite advantages to owning your own space ship:
Pulling Power: Women think the stars are romantic, and now you can take her to see them. Just don't get too geeky and start naming them all. Oh, and goodbye Mile High Club, Hello Zero Gravity Sex.
Easy Commute: There's very little traffic in space, and no speed limits. Sell your house, live in a really cheap part of the world like a millionaire, and still be the first in to the office each day.
Handy for Shopping: There's a roomy boot (trunk in American), which will hold up to 24,000 kilos (53,000 lb in American). Even Bee can't buy that many shoes in one go, surely?
The Ultimate SUV: It uses an astronomical amount of fuel, holds eleven people and won't fit in your garage. Your average SUV freak would part with vital organs for one of these. It's amazing that they only think they'll be able to sell two of them.
Of course, as with all "bargains", there's usually a catch. Otherwise the current owners wouldn't be so eager to part with them:
Zero Gravity Sex: This is likely to take some practice and care. Fluids have a nasty habit of floating around. Also, be careful not to inadvertently knock any of the guidance controls - it's a big universe, and there's no GPS up there.
Expensive Commute: At a cost of $1.5 billion per journey, you might want to consider a private jet instead.
Not Handy for the Shops: Parking is going to be a little bit of an issue, even in the US. Most shopping malls don't have their own 2 mile-long runways.
Poor Safety Record: Although most 4x4 nuts don't mind the fact that their vehicles are a lot less safe in a crash, even they may be a little dismayed by the fact that the shuttle has blown up twice in 100-odd journeys.
Anyway, I'm still wondering whether or not they'll give me a good enough trade-in on my Skoda to make the monthly payments bearable...