Okay, so how many of you have just read the title of this post and said to yourselves, "Same as always, then?". Please don't answer that.
Years ago, they had two designers on a TV programme re-designing the toilet. They looked at why current models are so, em, crap. One problem is that the British Standard that addresses the ability of Water Closets to send whatever one has deposited on its way to the sewers is possibly not demanding enough.
They use something that is the size and shape of a ping pong ball. If they pull the chain and ball is propelled out of the pipe at the back, then the crapper in question is deemed fit for purpose.
This is perhaps TMI, but I personally do not shit ping pong balls. If I did, I would be seeking immediate medical advice. Or giving up eating spag. bol. at the local sports centre (the food there's tasteless anyway).
All of which explains why I seem to spend so much of my time armed with a toilet brush. Again, TMI, I suppose.
The designers decided to check out the state of the art in Dunny Design (as our Australian friends would say), by going to Japan. There they perform more realistic tests, including cramming huge amounts of toilet paper into the bowl. Having said that, I suspect that using the facilities there would be rather scary:
This is a Japanese Lavatory Control Panel. The ones they have in NASA for launching rockets are probably less complicated. Though I bet they don't have such entertaining symbols on their buttons.
Talking about NASA, my cistern has started making noises that sound like it's about to lift off. Presumably this is something to do with air getting into the water filling mechanism. Maybe I could tune it to play specific notes, and make it an honorary member of the Blogger Band - ideal for performing Latrine Dance music.
On which fragrant note I'll leave you.
I'm away again this week - back at the weekend.