Monday, 12 November 2007

All Because of Green Beans...

Battleship Potemkin, 1925

I've been thinking about revolution, and the failure of the capitalist system. I've always thought that food distribution is one of the great success stories of the Free Market Economy - anything you need is always available - none of the queuing that we used to see in the USSR.

But now, things are getting beyond a joke. Yet another local supermarket has run out of green beans. How are we going to manage? I had to hunt far and wide just to put a nourishing Green Bean Casserole on my daughter's plate. Maybe it's time that the people revolted against a system that is failing us.

After all, that's what they do in Battleship Potemkin. Some of the sailors don't like their soup (the meat's so old it's starting to come back to life), and so they hold a glorious communist revolution to take over the ship.

Faced with mutiny and with hoards of revolting soup-starved sailors, the officers fight back, killing one of the crew. "All because of the soup", we're told. Actually, all because the officers are facing death at the hands of an angry mob.

At which point you may be wondering why they've got such wide steps on a battleship, but the picture above comes from the famous "Odessa Steps" scene, where the ship has docked, and the evil Tsarist authorities decide to massacre all the innocent women and children to stop the revolution spreading.

All because of the soup. I wonder if they had green beans in Revolutionary Russia?

The film is depressing because having had this great revolution in the name of freedom against oppression, the ringleaders take charge and start ordering the crew about, and you know that they're going to have just as bad a time under the new regime.

Incidentally, if anyone mentions "Battleship Potemkin" be sure to comment favourably on "Eisenstein's use of montage", and how it influenced generations of film-makers. That'll save you the trouble of sitting through it - it really is a depressing bit of Communist propaganda about the 1905 revolution. That they didn't even win (though they miss out the bit about losing in the film).

So perhaps instead of instigating the great Green Bean Revolt, I should just get a freezer and stockpile enough frozen ones (which are still available) to get me through a long beanless winter.

Incidentally, this weekend's Green Bean Casserole looked more like the real thing (crispy onions), and Helena's verdict was that it's not as nice, so it's back to mushy onions next time - after all, I wouldn't want to drive my daughter into staging a revolution...

22 comments:

Bee said...

You might have to resort to online Green Bean shopping!

Bee said...

It's funny cuz all I would eat on the GBC are the crispy fried onions. :o)

Jean Knee said...

I wonder if Martha Stewart has an impossibly complex but beautiful recipe fot green bean casserole?

maybe you could do it the same way but substitute the main ingredient for, say corn

It would probably be cheaper for you to buy one of those food dehydraters and dry you beans out for later use.

Bee said...

I HAVE AN AWESOME RECEIPE FOR CORN CASSEROLE!!
A staple for Thanksgiving!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee: Online Shopping - Yes, but if they don't have it they substitute something else. Artichoke Heart Casserole doesn't have the same ring to it...

Bee: Yes, I preferred the crispy onions too. Maybe I'll try some of each next time.

Jean Knee: Perhaps by the time I'm finished experimenting on Helena, I'll have an impossibly complex but beautiful recipe and be able to make millions like MS.

Bee: Corn Casserole - Sounds great, but what's "creamed corn"?

Bee said...

Creamed Corn:
Corn that gets beatin' up by other corn?

I think they put it in a blender or something. Why do you ask? Did you look up the recipe online?

The recipe I make is, one can regular corn, one can creamed corn, sour cream, corn muffin mix and tons of butter. Not healthy but good for a 2 time of year dish.
YUMMY!

Bee said...

The other being Christmas.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Yes, I looked it up. I suspect we don't have that sort of thing in the shops here - we don't even have Green Beans, remember!

Jean Knee said...

No creamed corn? what kind of primitive village do you live in!??

Bee said...

That's what I was thinking!

Bee said...

jean knee, we have to put a care package together for Brian!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Third World:

Well, at least we have proper chocolate. Cheese connoisseurs tell me that you don't have decent strong cheese either (e.g. stilton). You also don't have Marmite, or, I suspect, Irn Bru. Sometimes I wonder how you manage...

And you're making me miss Emilia, since I had to look up how to spell Connoisseur ;-)

Jean Knee said...

sometimes you can find good cheese but it costs an arm and a leg, and possibly a kidney.

no on the other stuff

Bee said...

Since I live in the coolest city on the planet (and it's neighboring planets), I have no doubt in my mind that we can find the grody items (no offense) you have listed.

They, of course, would be in specialty shops but it's not an impossibility.

We are the ones with the "proper chocolate".

Jean Knee said...

Plus you're right next to wisconsin, that awesome cheese state.

you won't believe what just happened. I clicked green bean casserole on Martha Stewart's site and my computer froze up. ha it's too gross to be Martha'd up

Brian o Vretanos said...

Proper chocolate? Ha, I don't think so... Cadbury's Dairy Milk is my favorite by far (each pound made with a glass and a half of milk, or something).

MS:

Here we have Nigella Lawson, self-styled "Domestic Goddess", who introduced the nation to the deep-fried Bounty Bar. I bet she doesn't have a GBC recipe either.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Speciality shops:

It would be hilarious if they were selling Marmite or Irn Bru as expensive delicacies!

I've got a feeling that Americans are unable to eat Marmite - it's the one thing that none of you can get accustomed to. Children here are brought up on the stuff.

Bee said...

jean knee!!! STOP!!! Why do you want a recipe for GBC? Do not tell me you're gonna make it!

Also I'm rockin' it hard over here cuz I just found out I don't have to host Christmas!

Yeah, I looked up Marmite and it says you either love it or hate it...

Brian o Vretanos said...

There used to be a Marmite advert on TV here:

A guy wakes up. The kitchen is a mess. He smells the milk and it's gone sour. He grabs a knife and spreads himself some butter on toast. The knife has traces of marmite on it, and after tasting the toast he's so desperate to get rid of the marmite flavour that he gulps down the sour milk...

Jean Knee said...

and that sells the vile stuff?

no not making it just curious to see whether my mentor MS had a recipe or not


no is Nigella the one you have the hots for?

Bee said...

I just noticed you put your crush on the side bar. She's AWRIGH but she's no Paul Walker... ;o)

Brian o Vretanos said...

Nigella:

She's certainly a lot younger and better looking that MS. Quite a lot of men watch her programmes or read her books who wouldn't otherwise be interested in cooking - indeed they still aren't...

Emilia:

It isn't a great picture, but I'll readily agree that she isn't in Paul Walker/Jean Knee's league.