Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Mirror, Mirror...


A poll has been done which shows that Brits (both men and women) look at themselves in the mirror on average every 30 minutes. For some reason, Liverpudlian women are even worse - they gaze at their reflections twice as often.

I wonder what question they actually asked? And why? I mean, did some Gallup employee wake up one morning and think "How often do people look in mirrors"? Also, who did they ask? As usual, no-one was interested in my opinion.

I'm certain that I don't look more than 3 or 4 times a day. I don't like my reflection. They say that people don't like photos of themselves because they're used to seeing their mirror image. I'm the opposite, I don't think my photographed features look as bad as the "real" thing.

I don't know whether they've done this yet, but with cameras in mobile devices, it's easy to have an electronic mirror. All it has to do is to display the mirror image of what the camera sees.

People centuries ago did it better, though. Since they didn't have photos or camera phones they relied on painters to capture their image. The painters found they could make more money by painting the subject the way they'd like to look, rather than truthfully. Well, surely we have the technology to make our electronic mirror produce a more flattering image? Perhaps remove some weight, the odd chin, and so on?

This would be great, but unfortunately it wouldn't solve the real problem, which is that I want everyone else to see the flattering version of me as well. Witches can do this by casting magic spells so that men see an Angelina Jolie lookalike instead of a middle-aged green hag, but for the rest of us it's not so easy.

Having said that, it is possible to fool some of the people - I have to confess at this point that the photos of the amazingly handsome chap that I've been passing off as me, are actually someone else's. But please don't tell anyone. I wouldn't want to spoil their illusions. Or mine.

Which reminds me, I should remove the mirror from my bathroom. It's cracked, anyway...

21 comments:

Bee said...

Mirrors:
I look at myself about 6 times a day. In the morning when I'm getting ready, then when I visit the ladies cuz the mirror is right above the sink. I just check to make sure I don't have drool on my chin but I'm pretty much resigned to my looks (for now).

Pictures are another story, I refuse to believe that the Zombie looking person that comes out is me. I don't care what logical people say, that image is not me! ;o)

Also, I think it's a good idea to hire a painter that will flatter me, as long as he's not a joker that does the funky caricatures!

Bee said...

OH! You have to watch Shallow Hal... you have too! :o)

Jean Knee said...

I certainly hope it wasn't me you were thinking of when you referred to a green middle-aged hag. Cause I ain't green. Unless I'm wearing My Al Gore Mask

Jean Knee said...

I'm always shocked to see I now look like my sister, when I look in the mirror. nobody in my fam looks like anybody else

my sister is old, The Horror!

Jean Knee said...

Brian- how come you have nudey pictures on your blog?

Bee said...

jean knee he's gonna tell you it's not about the boobs, that it's about the "ART"!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Painter: I suppose you could get him to paint over your real face ;-)

Shallow Hal: Right, I'll look out for it.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Middle-aged hag: no, It wasn't you I was thinking of.

Sister: People say I look like my sister. Or the other way round. Neither of us believes them though.

ART:

Thankyou Bee. Saved me the trouble ;-)

I knew that this might upset US sensibilities, but I was amused by the fact that he's got a semi-naked woman in front of him and still he's admiring himself. The woman (Echo) is saying, "Just what do I have to do to make this guy notice me?"

Bee said...

Has anybody ever told you you have a way of flattering women?
No?
Not surprised! :op

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

No, I don't do flattery.

Big Dad said...

Bee was right maybe I should come by more often you have such a beautiful display of... ART.
My mirror has nothing but good things to say to me. Just kidding just kidding!
BTW don't let Bee fool you into thinking she's an ugmoe.

Jean Knee said...

honestly, some guys are such narcissists

Brian o Vretanos said...

BD:

Glad to be of service ;-) You certainly should visit more often.

We're not so unused to images of naked women here - this is, after all the country that invented the Page 3 girl...

Bee said...

[ROLLING MY EYES]
I don't like the testosterone level here today... :op

BD, thank you for saying I'm not an ugmoe ((so sweet)) BUT you should have added "complete" ugmoe, it's only fair.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Testosterone: Yes, it makes a change. I'll have to see what other artworks I can dig up...

Jean Knee said...

isn't anyone going to giggle at my lame narcissistic joke?

fine

that above long word there is as bad as spelling Mississippi, almost

Bee said...

::giggle::

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee: Sorry, I was too helpless with laughter to post a suitable response...

Jean Knee said...

awww, you two made me blush

Magdalene said...

A most timely post Brian. The Weirdo has just found a large mirror which he has temporarily left by his bed. He's now decided to move it because it unnerves him when I keep looking in it while we er...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Magdalene: will the mirror fit over the tile lacuna in your bathroom?

Unless that would that provide you with unwanted views of other activities...