Thursday, 29 November 2007
I wouldn't describe myself as a hypochondriac, partly because I can't spell it, but nevertheless, I can't help wondering when I'm not feelng one hundred percent whether it's something minor or major.
Recently I've been wondering about my cough. I've had it for weeks. Of course, it is the time of year to get bugs, but that could have caused the lung cancer to become noticeable. Or maybe it's something less serious, like tuberculosis, or pneumonia.
Someone at work has the same symptoms, so perhaps I should be reassured. Except that he's a heavy smoker...
I've also had other scares. However, the bowel cancer has gone away, and I haven't yet had a heart attack, despite pains in my left arm - usually after carrying a heavy load of shopping up all the stairs to my flat (I use my left arm a lot more for things like lifting). I did once rush to hospital and have an ECG, but strangely their machine didn't register anything abnormal.
I don't go to the doctor because either (a) I'm dying, and if so would rather not know, or (b) I'm not and would rather not waste everyone's time.
I did go when I woke up with a fatal neck injury. I had read in the paper about a woman who had a stiff neck. She had an X-ray and was told it was fine. A few weeks later whilst lying on some foriegn beach her mobile rang, and she was told not to move but call the paramedics, as she had a potentially fatal fracture, and her X-ray had been mixed up. My doctor, after having a cursory glance, rather than getting an ambulance asked if I'd fallen over lately. I had, a few days previously (muddy path). I was sent home, reassured that "You probably won't die just yet." So I survived that one.
The one thing I'm not looking forward to as I get older is that I'll start feeling more and more things going wrong, and that some of them might actually kill me. Still, I've got a long hard journey of survival before that happens...