Sunday, 18 November 2007

Changing Times

How things change. I must be getting old (surely not?).

When I was growing up, we had green beans out of tins. Almost all our meals were accompanied with proper home-made chips or some other form of potato, and coffee came out of a jar marked "Nescafe".

Nowadays we're used to our coffee Starbucks style. Until recently I used to make attempts to have "proper" coffee at home, but I don't drink enough and the ground coffee used to lose its flavour. So these days I drink filter coffee, as sold in one-cup packs.

But things are changing yet again. Now coffee is no good unless it has been processed in some way by an animal (processed by humans in a hygenic factory would make it "articifical" and "unnatural").

The latest find is the Monkey Spit Bean - I'm sure they'll call it something posher than that, since it sells for over $100 a kilo (you can buy Colombian for around $10). These are beans that have been spat out by monkeys, and so are infused with their saliva. The link also mentions the ultimate - beans that have been more thoroughly processed by a civet cat. At $1000 a kilo no-one's going to admit that it tastes like shit...

The big problem that the coffee snobs will have, I suspect, is how to top this. If anyone has any ideas, they could make millions.


Bee said...

I heard about this coffee that's made from beans that have exited the monkey's digestive system.
Now, I love my coffee but that is just beyond GRUHOSS!

Also, that picture on your post... you need a haircut.

Bee said...

Oh, BTW. I remember my momma making the Nescafe and being able to drink it. Now, I too am too much of a coffee snob!

Jean Knee said...

You can get Columbian for $10.00 a KILO???!!? no way

oh wait, you were talking about coffee. Okay

For three hundred dollars I will injest coffee beans, remove extra fecal matter when they exit the body, roll them in mouse droppins and then have my donkey friends spit on them.
Guaranteed to be a flavor sensation unparalleled in the history of the world.

Brian o Vretanos said...


Thanks for the link. I particularly love this:

"Something happens to the beans in the journey through the cat's intestines..."

I wonder if you could flavour other foods in this way? Maybe cocoa beans, or peanuts.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

It's a deal. $300 a kilo ( = 2 pounds). Remember though, they must come out whole. I wonder if you can get caffeine poisoning from that many beans?

Maybe we can call it "Texan's Delight - Brown Gold.", with a special endorsement "Every bean has been personally passed by our Expert."

Jean Knee said...


Jean Knee said...

hah, I used that comment?story and your retort " Maybe we can call it "Texan's Delight - Brown Gold.", with a special endorsement "Every bean has been personally passed by our Expert"

as a fun dinner time anecdote. my dad was present

he wants the address to my blog so he can gain insight into his child--does that seem like a good idea?

my dad is a very prim and polite guy who enjoys reading the classics and watching masterpiece theater

Ingrid said...

I still drink my coffee out of a "Nescafe Clásico" jar every morning, mixed directly with milk and sugar. It beats Starbuck's hands down.

Bee said...

jean knee, you will scare your dad out of his ever lovin' mind! Especially cuz of your obsession with Criss Angel and Al Gore. You know you're hot for both!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Well, I'm very prim and polite...

Maybe you could do a post in blank verse speically for him. Stick in a few thees and thous and wherefores, and he'll be happy.

The classics are the same as everything else - all sex and violence.

Brian o Vretanos said...


You beat Starbucks on price, too...

I generally avoid Starbucks. It's very expensive here - a large coffee costs about $6. I go to one of their competitors on work days, who charge $3.50 for a large latte, that lasts me about an hour.

Jean Knee said...

sorry to disagree but nescafe is vile and should be abolished from the earth!!