Thursday, 13 December 2007

Something Smells Nice


I missed this story, which apparently broke last month. Emilia only got round to telling us about it yesterday. This is about the Japanese scientists who have genetically engineered mice so that they don't react to the smell of cats, and are therefore no longer afraid of them.

As with other breakthroughs of this kind, I'm waiting for the day when they can genetically re-engineer people. When they do, there are some adjustments I'd like to have to my olfactory system:

  • Seafood - Perhaps then I'd be able to eat it. The main reason for this would be the odd time when I feel "socially obliged" to consume some, when I'm with a group of people who insist on going to a seafood restaurant, or if I ever find myself stranded on a desert island, preferably with a gorgeous woman. It would be a pity to have to eat her.
  • Perfume - I'm okay with most perfume, but there is a particular scent that I find massively overpowering - other people don't always even notice it. This won't be a problem if I get shipwrecked - my desert island babe will have had any perfume washed away, as she'll be spending much of her time in the water catching my tea.
  • Farm "Produce" - Living in a reasonably rural area, I have to put up with the smells often enough for them to be unpleasant, but not often enough to have got used to them.
  • Spiders - If I wasn't so afraid of them, I'd be able to get a lot closer, and therefore nearer my goal of wiping them off the face of the Earth (or at least away from visible areas in my flat).

Maybe their next area of research should be how to make animals and people afraid of certain things, such as me. I love the idea of street "sales" and survey people running away from me - then I could harrass them!

Similarly the spider issue might be better solved by making them keep their distance. Do spiders have noses?

31 comments:

Jean Knee said...

I don't know, something about this reeks of that story where there were too many (insert name of pesty animal here) so they brought in (insert name of animal that preys on the pest) then they were over run with (the predator) then they get ( natural predator of the previous predator)..........................


without mice we might be over run with garbage or old cheese.

Jean Knee said...

Seafood should not be eaten, ever.
that smell should tell an intelligent person not to eat it, I mean we don't eat (insert name of something digustingly reeky here) cuz it stinks

Jean Knee said...

there must be some way to make mimes afraid of people--so far slapping them hasn't worked at all

Jean Knee said...

Bee---are you okay???
I'm drinking a cup of evil coffee right now. Don't you want to join Brian and me in the joyous celebration of my fall from grace???
bottoms up


(that's what he said)

Bee said...

I Think jean knee said it all! ;o)

This sentence made me lose it "It would be a pity to have to eat her."! BWAHAHAHAHA!!

Seafood is disgusting! I've had people tell me, "you must try this, it doesn't taste like seafood at all!" First, why eat it then? Second, they're usually right and it taste like dog crap...

jean knee, congrats on the coffee!

Bee said...

It's only 9:38 my time and there has already been allot of drama here at the Asylum!

My little elf pin with it's movable legs given to by Natalia is sad/insane.

Jean Knee said...

Just pull out that adorable little bear pen thing and don't let the bats touch it. Then when they ask what's up with the cuddly bear pen, act mysterious and say.....it arrived from .....Texas...........

it'll drive them apeshit cuz they'll all want one and can't find em ( it came from dollar tree in case you need another fabulous gift to go with the socks)

Jean Knee said...

Here's a horror story for you gentle readers.

We went to Rome when I was pregnant. A friend set up a fabulous 7 course dinner at a restaurant---every course was seafood. I had to eat some cuz he went to such trouble. Top morning sickness off with massive amounts of disgusting seafood.

Why would we want to eat seafood while in Italy??? bring on the not vomit inducing pizza and pasta!

Jean Knee said...

Brian, that is a lovely picture of flowers

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee,

I don't think that they actually wanted to wipe mice out, just to prove a point. They claim they didn't let any cats kill them during the photoshoots, but I bet they did afterwards just for the fun of it...

Mimes: If you smell of something that they're afraid of, that might work. So eat something that will repel them, like seafood, perhaps - maybe that's why people eat it!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

COFFEE? I was going to suggest that you had your smell altered so that either (i) you wouldn't smell it at all, or (ii) you'd be afraid of it.

Or has the doctor relented?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Give them hell.

Bee said...

Okay Brian just because you told me too. ;o)

jean knee, I've had my awesome santabear pen out and twirling it for them whenever they get out of line so that the arms and legs flap all about! It makes them lose their steam...

Bee said...

You guys are gonna crack up when you hear the stories!!!!!

Bee said...

Or, you will pity me...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Crack up/Pity you:

Both of those, I'm sure!

Jean Knee said...

I've only had 1/2 a cup of the deadly liquid.

that's not too bad, huh?

I haven't been back to see Dr. Grim

Jean Knee said...

Bee- I knew as soon as I saw it it would be the ideal weapon for bat pest control



Brian, it might work for those product harrassers, want me to send you one? it's vile

Brian o Vretanos said...

STEP AWAY FROM THE COFFEE POT!

This is like one of those things you read about where someone kills themselves online...

Don't do it, Jean Knee!

Jean Knee said...

I stopped at half, really

Brian o Vretanos said...

I hope you did, because I've just called and told the paramedics not to bother after all.

Did you see that guy in Turkey who fell out of the back of an ambulance?

Jean Knee said...

no, was he caffeine deprived>

someone here fell out a 12 story building and is okay

Brian o Vretanos said...

No - he'd been in an accident or something - there were cameras filming - and they had him on a stretcher. They didn't secure him properly and they didn't secure the stretcher in the ambulance. Nor did they close the doors before it sped off. The stretcher ended up falling out of the back, and the patient was killed.

I read about that 12 storey thing - amazing!

Jean Knee said...

yeah I couldn't remember how many stories 12 sounded right

I never check facts

Jean Knee said...

I guess if you're in an accident in Turkey it's best to hitch hike to the hospital

or just lie in the road

Brian o Vretanos said...

Avoid having an accident in the first place. Or going to Turkey, I suppose ;-)

Dan said...

I love shrimp, but all other seafood tastes like dog ass.
Dan

Bee said...

Holy craps! 27 comments!!
Dan my classy brothah... just like your sistah! ;op
He's right though.

Jean Knee said...

how do you know what dog ass tastes like? forget it, I don't want to know

Brian o Vretanos said...

Dan:

I would have asked the same question as Jean Knee. And I don't want to know either ;-)

I don't even like shrimp.

Dan said...

uuuhhhhhhh........I went to china once !!!
Dan