Friday, 14 December 2007

Toilets, Al Gore, Communists

Al Gore at the Nobel Prize Ceremony
[Picture License]

I've never done one of those "Three Beautiful Things" posts before, so here goes...

Toilets

1. David Leggat spent four days locked in a toilet in Scotland. Although it's not as cold there as Oklahoma at the moment, nevertheless he was lucky to have hot water, which he used to stop his extremities freezing. He was in a bowling club - proof yet again, of the danger of sports.

Al Gore

2. Al Gore managed to get his Nobel Prize, at a time when in Bali the international community are failing again to agree to do anything about the environment (or am I being cynically negative?). I didn't see the ceremony, but you have to get your gong from the Norwegian King. It's not permitted to turn your back on him, which means you have to walk backwards down the stairs. If you don't break your neck, you get to keep the millions of dollars. Not that millions of dollars are worth much at the moment.

Communists

3. All this reminded me of a Scandinavian film I saw on TV about 15 years ago. I really wish I could remember enough details to find it again. It was about a communist anti-monarchist craftsman. The royal family of whatever country this was (might have been Norway) is going to visit a factory. The factory bosses have made all the necessary preparations. Someone asks what would happen if His Majesty needed to avail himself of the, er, plumbing?

Surely he couldn't be expected to use the pleb's facilities? So they ask the master craftsman to make a toilet fit for a King. Although he is anti-royal, his first loyality is to his work, so he makes a luxurious stall, complete with royal insignia and a toilet which doesn't flush - after all, it'll only be used once, so the waste products just fall into a compartment under the floor.

Meanwhile the King's visit is being meticulously planned as a military operation, by, the military (I think). They have a special operations room with maps and phones, etc., and everything has been worked out to the second.

Finally the day arrives. The royal motorcade makes its way to the factory. Just before it reaches the gates, disaster strikes! The King's car gets a flat tyre. The King and Queen get out. The welcoming committee is about 30 feet away, but it would hardly be the done thing for royalty to walk. So they wait around whilst the tyre is changed. Unfortunately this means that the King is now behind schedule, so the military planners call off the visit, and the motorcade turns around and goes away.

Inside the factory the master craftsman has a dump in his royal toilet, whilst singing "The Red Flag" (or some other Communist song).

I'm sure there's a moral in there somewhere, but I just wish I could find that film...

14 comments:

Bee said...

jean knee will be so happy to see you posted a pic of Al Gore! She LOVES him! :o)

The moral:
Communist make fine craftsmen??

jean knee for now said...

That Father Al is so yummy! I could put him on saltines and eat him up!

jean knee for now said...

I could dip Fritos in him!

jean knee for now said...

I'm out in my yard pullin' Johnsons!

Jean Knee said...

yes, all those things, but really Father Al does look quite dapper in his "tie matching the podium" get up.

Jean Knee said...

now Brian I hope you aren't lumping Father Al in with toilets and communists. He doesn't even like the color red and he would never match the background at any pinko commie shin dig.


although i think I am beginning to see how all three are related....

hmmmmm

Jean Knee said...

oh my goodness, already out disco dancing huh?

Bee said...

Already out disco dancing??? BWAHAHAHA! What is this 1977?

Dan said...

Al Gore looks constipated, I don't have kids so don't give a crap about the environment...I know I sound ignorant but I really don't.
Dan

Jean Knee said...

Al Gore is Hawwwt--in a global warming kind of way

Brian o Vretanos said...

I'm back. You didn't notice I was gone, did you?

I was a bit tired last night after the work Christmas lunch, which ended up at 10pm in a curry house.

Jean Knee:

There used to be a Post Office advertising campaign here "I saw this and I thought of you." I'm glad you like the picture.

Dan:

I suspect no-one really knows how mcuh of the gloabl changes are down to man anyway - things change naturally.

Bee:

Don't they have discos anymore? I haven't been keeping up with these things, I'm afraid...

Bee said...

The are no longer called "discos", they're just "clubs". ;op

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

Thanks for clarifying that - Now I know what I'm missing ;-)

Jean Knee said...

it's 2:30 and you're still at the disco??