Monday, 22 October 2007

How to Get Thinner and Age Slower


The above question has occupied some of our greatest minds. Especially if you don't want to give up eating, or to spend your whole life in a gym. Neither of which helps with the ageing, anyway (though the latter might help you live into senility). No one's come up with any great answers.

Expert Advice

So, who better to ask than Albert Einstein? Well, I'm about 50 years too late, so it's just as well that he was way ahead of me, since he worked out an answer to both of these questions over a century ago.

Light Reading

I've been going back over his book "Relativity - The Special and General Theory". This is his dumbed-down explanation, with only a few equations. Actually I went back over the Special Relativity section, because (i) it's easier than General Relativity and (ii) it's the bit that addresses today's topic.

Relatives

Special Relativity tells us that time and distance are relative, and depend on how fast something is going that you're observing. If someone sees you moving past them, then they observe that your size is smaller and you are ageing more slowly.

Rocket Science and Naomi Campbell

So that's the answer. Just move fast. It's not rocket science. Though a rocket might help, since the faster you go the more extreme the effects are (that's why we don't normally notice them). To get supermodel thin, you're going to need to travel at almost light speed - which is 2,000 times faster than the best rockets.

Amaze your Friends!

You'll be going so fast that no-one will notice how super thin you are. However, the ageing trick is much more impressive - You just go off in your super whizzy space ship, travel for a bit, come back and all your friends will be wrinkled and grey. The travel will be boring - there aren't many places you can get to even at light speed, and of course they go past so quickly.

But not yourself

The other slight problem is that you don't get thinner or age less quickly relative to yourself. The only thing you can do is to effectively travel forwards in time faster.

My Head Hurts

Which only leaves me with one thought - If Einstein couldn't come up with any practical suggestions, what hope is there for the rest of us?

14 comments:

Jean Knee said...

well, brian here I am first and me without a witty quip.

did you just say "what else is new"?

The Horror!

Bee said...

Hmmm... now to think of a comment that will top jean knee's!

Bee said...

Here is the solution for both ageing and weight.

Ready?

Bee said...

Diet and Exercise!

It will help you look younger, feel younger and live longer.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

What are you doing up so early?

Bee:

Your comment is almost as witty and inspired as Jean Knee's.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Diet & Exercise:

Yes, but that's no fun, and it doesn't make you younger...

Bee said...

Not that I do either...

Bee said...

Younger:
Well, it kind of does. Doctors can estimate how much older your body is than your actual age based on the lifestyle you've lead.
Some people can be 50 but have the body/health of a 30 year old and vice/versa (?).
I have some friends that are a year younger than I am but look about 40 due to their smoking and party-ing.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Younger: Yes, you do have a point there. I dread to think what my insides look like...

Bee said...

What are you thinking your age would be 70-75? ;op

Brian o Vretanos said...

70-75: Well, given that I don't exactly take care of myself, and that they must be working overtime to keep my outer appearance so youthful and athletic-looking, you might not be too far off...

Bee said...

This is what the docs would say about me.
My brain: 13
My body: 25
My organs: 30
My hair: 18

If you take those numbers add them then divide by four my age is 21.5! ☼ ☺

Jean Knee said...

brian, you look entirely youthful. I clicked on your pic to check out any mutant ear hair growth, for which you have zero.

just ask Bee, I told her all about it

Brian o Vretanos said...

Bee:

;-)

Jean Knee:

It's amazing what you can do with digital photos...