Monday, 15 October 2007

Sports News



Putting the Frogs in their rightful place...


Perhaps I should watch the sports news, since I missed the great sporting event of the weekend - a rerun of Waterloo in the form of the World Conker Championship. An English player saw off opposition from 300 other contestants from 20 countries including France, USA, Germany, Canada and the Phillipines.

Don't try this at home!


The event was almost cancelled because of fears about the dangers of this activity. Hurling chestnuts through the air, even on strings, is clearly something not to be done without paramedics standing by. Miraculously, there has never been an injury in the Championship's 43 year history. And to think that we used to play this unsupervised at school!

Big Cheeses


That other great international game, Cheese Rolling is somewhat more dangerous, and was even cancelled a few years ago. If it was up to me, I'd make them both Olympic sports, but for some reason I wasn't invited onto the Olympic Comittee this time round.

Wargames


What's really surprising is that one of the most dangerous games of all is still allowed. I'm talking of course about football (sorry, soccer in US English). Players and spectators are killed and injured every year, yet no-one whinges about health and saftey. Football is such a pointless game (often literally "nil-nil") that the "spectators" spend more time fighting each other than watching it. They could do this much more easily if the pitch and players were removed. Again, no-one thought to ask me.

Live a Little


Anyway, I think that after a quarter of a century's absence from the scene, it might be time for me to take up conkers again. After all, there isn't nearly enough danger and excitement in my life.

28 comments:

Bee said...

The Cheese:
My dilema in cheese rolling would be if I want to come in first place and get the cheese or second and get $5...

Bee said...

Conkers:
If you have to wear those funky looking hats I wouldn't play if I were you, unless you like to look like a nun in drag.

Just sayin'!

Jean Knee said...

yeah, what bee said

Bee said...

Brian, you must go on jean knee's blog and help me defend the spiders.

I can't do it all by myself.

Bee said...

Did you know that an anagram for Brian is brain?
Yeah, true story!

Bee said...

I'm playing double dutch and leaving comments on 2 blogs at the same time!

Who is cooler than me?

Jean Knee said...

no one's cooler than you bee, except for eskimos and such

Jean Knee said...

That conkers does sound like fun. so let me see if I have it right. A chestnut is tied to a string, you swing it at another opponents chestnut, how do you know who wins?

I ate Chestnuts in, of all places, Chicago. they were terrible. I'm pretty sure bee was the vendor.

Brian o Vretanos said...

Cheese:

I'm sure the cheese is worth more, so you could always sell it.

Fancy Dress:

I think the hats are optional.

Jean Knee:

Thanks for your unique insight.

Spiders:

Did you know that vile is an anagram of evil?

Anagrams:

a cabin

Double Dutch:

Small things...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Jean Knee:

Bee: Yes, we like Bee, but there's no need to go quite so far with the brown-nosing - especially not on my blog!

Conkers: The loser is the one who's conker gets smashed. Nice and simple, and decisive. No appealing to the referee for a bad call. I'm not sure what happens if they both break - presumably it's a draw and they try again with fresh conkers.

They're horse chestnuts. Not sure if they're edible ones.

Chestnut Vendor Bee:

She'd probably soaked them in laxitives...

Bee said...

>o[

Brian o Vretanos said...

:-(

Did you know that [o> is an anagram of >o[ ???

Bee said...

also o>[

but back to my >o[

Brian o Vretanos said...

Erm, Jean Knee, Help! - Bee's being mean - say one of those nice flattering things again about her being an ice maiden or whatever...

Bee said...

uh... maiden? BPHRWAHAHA!
ICE QUEEN maybe but not maiden...

lorenzothellama said...

If your brand new conker knocks out a conker that's a fifteener, does your conker become a sixteener? I say it does, but John Humphries says it doesn't.

John is an anagram of hojn.

Lorenzo.

Brian o Vretanos said...

My apologies, your iciness...

I suppose that's Royal Icing ;-)

Brian o Vretanos said...

Lorenzo:

I don't think I ever played it that seriously ;-) My considered opinion is that JH might be right - after all, the point of measuring it at all is to say how well it's done, and the fifteener will be in a weakened state after all that bashing.

Can't make anything out of Elnoorz...

Brian o Vretanos said...

Zen Rolo!

Bee said...

What's a zen rolo?
A peaceful chocolate?

Brian o Vretanos said...

Zen Rolo:

It's when you're in a state of relaxation and ecstasy so great that you let someone else take your last Rolo, even though you don't love them enough.

Jean Knee said...

The Horror!


Teh Rorhor !

Bee said...

*PALS DEP!*
*PALS PED!*
*DEAP PLS!*
*PEA PLSD!*

Yeah, that's right, mine rocks!

The last 2 sound kinda dirty...

Brian o Vretanos said...

PD PLEAS: Grown glob!

Bee said...

I, b, saw meat hat n ran!

Brian o Vretanos said...

Ha! Met a young vet in Borneo

Bee said...

No need to brag about your conquests...
Well, I guess you can since it's your blog.

Chris said...

I would totally comment something brilliant here...except I'm laughing to damn hard over cheese rolling.

OMG.

I just love it!